Catch-22

5 Years

2009-11-03T02:44:00.000-08:00

Oh, I was ranked first in the first ever HNLU entry test. So, when I decided bravely that me of incalculable talents would risk myself for a chance to be part of building a major institution, I decided also that I would behave and be what everybody expected of a first ranker. My parent's expected that too. That I would go to HNLU, continue being in the top or thereabouts, and end up being a most eligible legal services provider. And just before leaving home, which must have been the last time I came close to crying, I marked the historic moment with an expression, "I just want to be a learned man when I come back!"

So it happened that we arrived and I basked in the adulation reserved for first rankers only, and I loved every moment of it. Well, that was until I found out I wasn't first rank material after all. I realized that the twist in my fate had not been me getting the first rank, but me having to live with it. And how I have suffered because of it. Initially I used to get books from the library and try to read them in the hostel. But when it became clear that I wasn't going to read more than a single page any given day without falling asleep, it made me give that up. And the subjects I had to study, they were also beyond my comprehension in why they appeared so simple to me. You kill someone, you go to jail, was all my brain was able to make of criminal law. How did these brilliant guys around me come up with so many long doubts in class?
And I suffered, because for a first ranker who had so willingly worn it on his sleeve and had gotten himself congratulated by every single of person in the University, mediocrity wouldn't have been acceptable, let alone absolute incompetence. I was all that. I couldn't wake up on time, I couldn't wash my clothes, I couldn't talk smooth with girls, I couldn't ask enough questions in class. I suffered the shame of it a while. And then some more, till I was nothing more than a lucky dumbass, whose true colours didn't take much time in showing.

With that realization, I swore I would beat fate. I swore I would be just what they now thought I was, and more. I started bunking classes, skipping snaps and lazed and wasted away. And slowly, but surely, I got recognition for it. I went on to become the most famous lazy good for nothing going on a downward trip guy in HNLU. There were a few people who loved me for that. I took on the mantle of a martyr for the ordinary. I started writing stories in my answer sheets, turned up in the same clothes with the same unkempt hair every day. I became for the self-righteous a thorn up their asses, for I represented all the joy in the temporary. Where everybody was worrying, I was without care. In a world where everybody is building a kingdom, a career or anything, I wasn't building anything. I was unbuilding. I was a metaphor of the absurdity that life seemed to me.
Soon more people started loving me. Most, because I was the helpful, harmless, friendly guy, who never posed anybody a challenge. My only areas of interest were those in which others had no interest. A few, I believe, saw the real me. They saw in me the prophet of the road less traveled on. I was testimony to the worth of the worthless. I spread the disease of lethargy all around, and taught them lepers to be proud of themselves. I was a reminder of the truth, that despite all you are not, you are something. I was an affirmation of everybody’s possibility of being accepted. I was the anomaly that felt right.
That was the glory. I felt for everybody and everybody felt for me. I loved everybody and everybody loved me. I was for everyone and I didn’t demand that everyone be for me.

However, somewhere along the line, I fell again. The fall came when I became proud of what I had become. The saviour idea took control of my mind and I started practicing it religiously. Somehow, I started becoming routine, and to sustain the routine, I started playing a role. I had a position, and I had to protect it. I started being rigid, and began to hate all those who weren’t like me. I started seeing conspiracies in everything they did and started organizing my lambs to isolate and destroy them. I fell in love with the me in their eyes. I forgot to be the me in my heart.
To be true to myself, I shouldn’t have loved my place. That was to be untrue to them. In the beginning I was a wolf in sheep’s clothing. My rise began when I realized what I wanted to be was a naked wolf, an honest wolf. My fall began when I became sheep that wouldn’t shed his hide.
I gazed inward and saw what I had become. I had become a manipulator. I too was trying to protect my position, just like all the people I hated. Then I lost the plot. I started looking down on people. Not many must've noticed it. Everything became about me, about my happiness, my position, my control over every fucking thing. I fell in my eyes.

Oh did I not yearn to redeem Neil. To fall in love, true love. But conceited as I was, I never could love. Never could I say this is me... love me. I was done with my hole. Alas, my only way out was the creepers on the walls of my well. And I'd never learnt to fly.

I never recovered from that fall. I could never. For my disguise was not worn over me, it was worn over the eyes of the people I had completely fooled. I just didn’t know how to remove those without hurting myself, and above all without hurting all those who loved me.
I am not saying I wasn’t good. I was more than the average good guy. I had a vision. But there were times when my lack of spine, my sense of self-comfort, caused me to remain silent. It is a sign that my biggest weakness still remains with me. I could’ve been more.

All said, I remain proud of everything I’ve been. The belief that I was loved for what I was, affirms my faith in myself. I thank everybody for that.

I was never bad. I will never be. But, do I not owe it to the hopes that I left with you, that I try to be not just not bad, but something more. Looking back at my days now, I was never sure about anything I should've done or what would've been right for me. I sure had all the threads to my life in my hands, but they were all tangled up. There were a lot of things I wanted to do. I could’ve given more. I didn’t. I genuinely feel bad about it.

P.S. I wrote this on the last day of college. I started to write something else, but it turned into nothing but a weed induced rant of a wishful fool. Those heady days puked at their end the mess in my head. Its apology, affirmation, and a lot of crap weaved into one. Its nothing. I was scared of what YOU would make of it. I don't know what to make of it. This is as much as I'll ever know.

longtimenocall

2009-03-09T13:47:00.000-07:00

Hey, this is Neil here! I'm sorry Paddu left the scene for a while. Poor Langoti was busy making a livin'. You find it funny, that the Lord, could have worries such as these. Well then yes, all didn't go according to plan for dear NSP. That is, IF there was a plan in the first place. Nony wanted to come seething, biting, growling, grinding teeth together. NeilO' comes a-bumbling, clumsy as an oaf, grinning a smile you almost forgot. Did you? Oh did you folks forget poor Neeli of the old? After all that he'd done! I mean, what could I ever give you over the telephone. How could a voice from afar, barely able to weave thoughts into words in between stutters of competing ideas, substitute your favourite mere mortal's presence? If you think otherwise think about all the funny one-liners I ever made. Can't remember any, can ya? Well it's because I never made any funny one-liners. It's because I never was the kind that caused rib aches. I never found answers to any of your problems. What I was though, was somebody who was just... around!
See now, I can't do that kind of thing anymore. I left them threads in a mess. It appears to me, the rest of my life getting them untangled!

Our first conversation...

2007-10-14T21:02:00.001-07:00

I was holding onto the plastic chair. She was walking over from near the bell. I knew I wanted to talk to her. I didn't want to start off with anything phony. I had no other reason for talking to her, except that I really wanted to talk to her. I was half an ass off the chair, certain I would make an ass of myself. Then as she and her friends were about to pass by me, I got up with a jerk, and must have scared her when I jumped into the line she walked on and said,
"Hi (her name)!"
She stops. I was cold. She was cool. But I say,
"I wanted to talk to you."
I smile a stupid smile, which, I must say, did little to hide the fact that I was turning red despite my skin. Meanwhile, no reply from her, except a slight shake of the head, granting me permission to proceed.
I try again. I state the obvious.
"I know this seems stupid."
Poor delivery again. I'm losing points here. I still have the forced stupid smile on my face.
I go again.
"How do I start talking with you?"
That was clever, I think, but I screwed it in delivery. My confidence does not exist.
But then she speaks for the first time. She says,
"Hi! I'm (her name)!"
I am happy. But, that doesn't mean I warmed to the situation.
"Hi! I'm Neil!"
Acknowledgment from her in the most discreet of nods.
My brain is scanning for clever ideas to prevent a still born conversation. I don't get any. Realisation strikes, that this is where this conversation has to end.
I conclude.
"I don't think this is working. I'll try again tomorrow!"
I give my trademark two thumbs up and scram to the safety of the plastic chair. I collapse onto it, and sit bent over, covering my face.

Did I not screw it up?

The Urge for Female Company

2007-10-03T02:22:00.000-07:00

"Why do I fall in love with every woman I see who shows me the least bit of attention?"

I didn't say that. Joel from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind said for me something that I've always felt. That's my sorry state. I've been falling in love with all sorts of women and girls and the sad part is I never could find myself comfortably talking to them. I've been living for nearly 23 years now and the total time I have spent talking with girls other than somebody related to me, is probably an hour in a long life. That too, most of it was 'do you know where somebody is' or 'can you hold my computer while I'm gone' kind of stuff. Never a single interesting conversation. And I'm a lesser person for that!

I have other problems too and like my friends say, I must be stupid prioritising this problem at such a crucial point in my life. But then, only I know how much this affects me. I might get a job after all, but this is a problem I need to solve once and for all. It's about my internal harmony.

"If only I could meet someone new. I guess my chances of that happening are somewhat diminished, seeing that I'm incapable of making eye contact with a woman I don't know."

That's Joel again and that's the bigger problem. My case is probably a bit more aggravated than Joel's. I'm incapable of making eye contact with even women I know. While hanging out with friends, if one of their girfriends come over, I find my eyes automatically searching for a nice piece of plaster on the wall opposite to where the girl is standing. And I'll be mute for just as much time as the girl is around, answering mostly in single syllables when questions are directed towards me. This is an uneasiness I chose to avoid and I find myself preferring to being alone in the computer lab, rather than be with friends and risk one of their girlfriends walking over.
This is just a small part of my problem. It affects me in every walk of my public life. In private, I'm even more affected by the sheer mystery of the pleasure that talking to a girl would be. Often I feel the urge to sit next to a girl. I feel the urge to talk to a girl. This defines a good percentage of the depressions that overcome me these days.

I fantasize stopping in the corridor one of the new juniors in college, and simply trying to strike a conversation with any of them. I probably have someone in mind too. But knowing me, I'll in all probability drop this plan, like all the other plans I've dropped before this. God help me!

I know I am painting a sorry picture. But this is the kind of truths that I wanna shout out. If I can't do this here, then I don't know what use my blog is to me.

glorious failure...

2007-10-02T01:30:00.000-07:00

Is there glory in failure?

I thought I'd write a coming of age novel about how great a person I am. That was the flaw. I didn't write what I should've written. I tried putting in words the image of me that others have. I recognise the greatness of art, now better than ever. I see the reason why it becomes great art. It is about truth and brutal honesty. It is about pouring out the darkest corners of your mind and the fuzzy picture that is formed of the dark and the bright parts of your mind... that that gets to be art. I haven't grown enough as a person to really own up all the things that goes on in my head. I am toiling towards such a time. When that time comes, I'll be released!

My failure to write the novel is a shame for me. Especially after seeking publicity for it through this blog and other means. That was a phony bit in me. There are subtle hints of it left. Or maybe it is big chunks after all and it is my reluctance to admit it. The fact that I'm writing this may hint towards some of it. But, I feel this has to be the way it is done. A conscious attempt towards purifying yourself of all phoniness.

My life took the downward spiral ever since I got obsessed with getting rid of the phoniness in me. I won't say I am better off now, that I did this. But I know if I hold on, redemption is just round the corner.

It is impossible to say just what I mean! - T.S. Elliot

The 'Lagey Raho Munna Bhai' Review

2006-08-31T23:23:00.000-07:00

Coming Soon...

Till then, if you can take my word for it... GO WATCH IT!

A thoroughly enjoyable movie, as good as the first one, entertaining full length, with excellent songs, great performances from Sanjay Dutt, Arshad Warsi and Boman Irani, with an unexpected guest appearance by 'u-find-it-out', a beautiful heroine, Vidya Balan, top it all with a great life-moral like the earlier movie, and more of all the things that you loved the first movie for...

Padayatty Rating: 5 stars out of 5

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Tagged on Technorati as Catch-22, Lage Raho Munna Bhai, Munna Bhai MBBS, Munna Bhai, Sanjay Dutt, Arshad Warsi, Boman Irani.

Talking New Year Resolution Blues…

2006-02-28T23:51:00.001-08:00

Mine was always to be a good boy. I wanted to brush my teeth and bathe everyday, comb my hair and wear well-ironed clothes, get to college on time and not sleep in class, sit in the library and have some AIR, eat Pillai Uncle’s food three times a day and avoid the Canteen, talk cool with girls, make them laugh and then maybe find myself a partner and roam with her the way so many pairs in HNLU do. I wanted to wear my jeans below my buttocks, be real cool, build some muscles and dance at parties. I wanted to ask long doubts in class, submit projects on time, give moot courts, attend snap tests and finally be an 8 point something.
That was a tall order. But my rock hard will told me I could do it. That was the 31st December, any year since I came to HNLU. Come New Year’s Day and I would take an exception, because excessive partying on the previous night left me with too much of a hangover to put into action any of mine resolutions. Jan 2nd was to be the shubh avsar for starting with my New Year Resolutions. Too much sleep the previous day meant I couldn’t sleep any that night and it was morning before I finally slept. No worry, there’s a whole year ahead. My lucky number the next day – Jan 3rd, I wake up early morning and go for a jog. I’d read somewhere that jogging early in the morning, makes one healthy, wealthy and wise. That was convenient. All the things I wanted to be, in one package. I find out that January is not the best time in the year to go for a jog. It’s bloody cold any morning. I come back with a horrible cold and slight temperature that renders me invalid for the next few days. It’s time for some compromise. Compromise is acceptable as long as the ultimate goal of becoming a good boy is not compromised. This jogging early morning thing does more harm than good to the good boy.
Having thus resolved the first threat to the resolutions, I concentrate the weight of my solid will towards the others and find myself awake at 8:00am on a very cold mid-January day. There’s a fight going on in the room. Everybody wants to bathe first and that too in hot water. Obscenities flit around my ear, and it hurts me to see my friends fighting. I decide I had no reason to put in a bad word, and resolve to wait till everyone has bathed, and in the meanwhile get some sleep also. You see, at 10 minutes each for my six roommates, I had at least an hour.
I wake with a start and look around to find a time-piece showing 11:30. Tomorrow… I told myself. There’s always tomorrow. I bathed in the night that day so that I wouldn’t have to bathe in the morning. That worked out fine. I got to college on time for Prof. Ajappa’s class. The class was jurisprudence and we were trying to nail the term onto a wall for clarity. But jurisprudence was one slippery term, which deftly avoided any definition leaving a trail of unsuccessful philosophers in its wake. I dozed off. Jairam’s bell woke me up, just as the venerable professor concluded his quest declaring that jurisprudence could not be defined.
Then came the days when there were no classes at all. That was cruel, I tell you. God knows how hard it was to sleep after a bath in the night when everybody else is watching some colored movie and then to wake up early morning, brush your teeth, comb your hair and catch the bus before it disappeared in a cloud of dust and then to fight the soft seductions of the computer lab and actually get to class just as your roll number was being called, only to get involved in a losing battle with my old friend, sleep. After all this when you have no class it kills your spirit. Mine was only too willing to die. Sometimes there was class only in the 3rd hour and my dying spirit couldn’t bear waiting for that hour to come. I trashed them resolutions sometime February.

That’s the sad tale of how I ended up not bathing, brushing, combing or ironing any day. That’s how I never did get to college on time, slept when I got there and missed my snap tests and adjourned infinitely my moot court appearances and was well shy of 8 point by the time the year ended. I have explanations for the other failures too. I never got to the library because whenever I went there everybody would stare at me in amazement, their eyes enquiring whether I had not missed the earlier turn to the computer lab. I never got about talking with any girls in the first place, to even think about the happily ever after. About Pillai Uncle’s food… I’m sure I’m not the only failure.
All you folks must be thinking what a dirty, lazy, pessimistic fellow this guy is. For you I’ll tell you, I did achieve some success. I successfully avoided the canteen, thanks to a four-figure against my name on the door. I don’t visit that part of the University anymore. Anyway, this year I’ve optimized my Resolutions and decided to start last week of December so that I’ll be well settled in time for New Year. Then I’ll do all those things I said I’d do and tell you all good folks about it next year. I’ll need your prayers! Happy New Year!

P.S. I wrote this one for the New Year Resolution Competition at HNLU. They didn't give away any prizes because there were only two participants. Tough luck!

Neena's Tourism Blues

2006-02-12T05:26:00.000-08:00

Neena has sent this article to the guys at The Hindu, for publication in their Open Page section. In the meanwhile, I told myself, my page is also just as open, then why not put it up here also. Moreover, there's a whole lot of bloggers from Karnataka, who just might see this one, and knowing the power blogs have, it might all be for good. So, here's what Neena has to say...

Tourism Blues

“Adhiti devo bhava” the epigram in which lies the heritage of every Indian. However the experience of a group of college students from God’s own country during their visit to the neighbouring state raises a question and becomes a blackmark in a country where guests are considered equivalent to gods. This article is to bring to public notice a few grave matters that needs to be addressed. A pleasure trip to Karnataka; but more that the hi-fi ness of Bangalore and the colour of the Brindavans ,a few singular encounters with the police,the security guards at the Brindavan gardens and the many Adams everywhere comes to the mind.
It was a dream come true for many when they set out for a five day trip to Bangalore,Mysore and Ooty.First stop Bangalore, metropolitan and modern in every sense.They stopped at a petrol bunk when a plainclothes policeman(haughtily flaunting his ID)boarded the bus.He started asking questions directly to a girl student as to who they were and the purpose of the excursion.His motive was evident when he left,all smiles,once he was given a hundred rupee note.
The next incident was when they were walking back to their hotel that night,weary from shopping and loaded with bags when a policeman amused himself by calling them’beggars’.Throughout the shopping trip most girls had encounters with ‘gentlemen’ who couldn’t walk by them without knocking onto them or passing off colour comments.
Truly bizarre was the experience at the Brindavan Gardens..The dimly lit park was very crowded owing to the second saturday and Pongal holiday.As the girls walked ,with the boys of the group forming a circle around them for protection,catcalls and obscenities floated towards their ears. Then ,when one of the boys accidentally stepped into a fountain,a security guard without even a verbal warning, struck him with a metal lathi.
The tour conductor who demanded an explanation got his reply with a blow,dodging which he fell down.Two security guards ,grinning mischievously ,attacked him with their lathis. The rest of the boys rushed to his aid when a few more guards materialized and started swinging their lathis at them.The girls watched horrified and by the time the guards came to their senses most of the boys had red welts on different parts of their bodies.Next the guards threatened to file a case against the dazed students,for fighting with them.It was only after pleading with them that they were allowed to go.One of the boys received a whack on the knee even as they were leaving.
The excursion party was too rattled and frightened that they did not even dare to lodge a complaint. Contemplating the complicated legal procedures most of them consoled themselves that things couldnt have been worse. The language bar was another factor. It was heartening that none of the other tourist who had witnessed the incident came forward to intervene.
If this is how tourists are treated then I don’t see any future for places like the Brindavans. In a public place where an entry fee is exacted this should not be the staff’s mode of conduct.Lathi charging is something used against an aggressive mob after sufficient warnings.Then where did these security guards get the right to assault tourists or anyone, for that matter? If they are so duty conscious then how come the place still teems with eve teasers and antisocial elements? How can one approach the police when they are also out to exploit naive tourists? To be caught in a legal imbroglio in a strange land will be last thing anyone would want. I am sure this is not an isolated incident. If this is how tourists from the neighbouring state is treated then God help those from faraway places.Mine is an open appeal to anyone who can change this situation. I hope there will be a day soon when one can listen to the colourful bustle of shoppers rather than off colour comments, when girls can walk the busy streets without feeling insecure and when one can enjoy a beautiful evening in the Garden city without fearing a lathi charge.

- Neena Padayatty.

Comments are to flow freely on this one, especially from the Karnataka blogging fraternity. Neena will post her replies to comments on the comments section. And, I hope The Hindu, does publish this well written article.

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Tagged on Technorati as Catch-22, Neena Padayatty, Bangalore, Brindavan Gardens, Karnataka, Karnataka Tourism, Open Page.

Me and A Generation Awakens for Rang De Basanti

2006-01-25T20:44:00.000-08:00

Just back from the First Day First Show of 'Rang De Basanti'. You know the 5:30am show, that's the only good thing about Raipur. After the Mangal Pandey, it was a near empty first show for Aamir Khan's 'Rang De Basanti'. Sherin, Sandeep and I, had a whole row of seats to ourselves and the row just in front to rest our legs. A cold morning at the Anand Talkies, with none of the festivities associated with the release of an Aamir Khan movie. But here's my review...

Story
Sue (Alice Patten), an English film-maker, inspired by her grandfather's experience as jailer to the great Indian Revolutionaries like Bhagat Singh and Chandrashekhar Azad, wants to make a documentary on the great Indian revolutionaries. But the story being too alien to her British financiers, she's not provided funds.
Sue, however, decides to go ahead and make the film. She reaches India, where her friend Sonia (Soha Ali Khan), and her friends, all students of DU, agree to act as the revolutionaries for the documentary. The carefree bunch, representing our generation, till then has been doing nothing more than partying every night, racing their bikes and being indifferent to a reality they were required to awaken to. They, with a bit of egging by Sue and Sonia, finally get into the groove for acting out the great revolutionaries. Before I go further, let me introduce the group.
DJ (Aamir Khan), though it is 5 years since he passed out from college, still hangs around because he feels at ease there. A swell guy, he's the life of the partying friends.
Aslam (Kunal Kapoor) is a poor boy, who finds his heart in this group of uncertain souls living life by the moment.
Sukhi (Sharman joshi) is the fun guy, always joking, and making everybody laugh.
Karan (Sidharth of Boys, Aayudha Ezhuthu fame), is a rich kid, who shares an uneasy relationship with his unscrupulous businessman of a father (Anupam Kher).
Ajay (Madhavan in an important guest role) is Sonia's lover and an Air Force Pilot, whom everybody in the group adores.
Laxman Pandey (Atul Kulkarni), is a saffron idealogue, with a growing reputation within the party in power, whose relationship with the rest of the group, though at loggerheads, takes a turn for good, once he too becomes part of the documentary crew.

Except Ajay, Laxman, and Sonia, the rest of the guys, are disillusioned with India, with no hope for it's future. They don't do anything about it other than making cynical comments about all things Indian, and dreaming of leaving India as soon as their education gets over. But once, they are initiated into the documentary, they transform taking inspiration from the characters of the revolutionaries they play in the documentary.

Imbibing the spirit of Bhagat Singh, Chandrashekhar Azad and the likes, they slowly awaken from the cynical slumber they'd been in so far. It is at this point that Ajay dies in a MiG crash. The Defence Minister, puts the blame on Ajay's adventurous flying, and shirks his responsibility for the faulty MiGs. The whole bunch and Ajay's mother, decide to protest the injustice done to Ajay's name and many other soldiers who have laid their lives for the nation. The government orders the peaceful candle-bearing protestors to be lathi charged. This is the turning point for the group. It'd be a spoiler if I go any further. Because I want you all to watch this movie.

Review
The acting performaces are all great. Aamir is his usual best. The rest of the crew all do their part to convince us of how they're just youth like the rest of us, taking all things lightly, not giving serious thought to their realities and quite sure that they couldn't do anything to change things. But I'd make special mention of Sidharth in his role as Karan, the rich-boy detatched, who really steals the show. He outshines even Aamir. It seems he's the hero, if you need me to pin point one. He's done a convincing portrayal of a troubled young man, who doesn't have much hope for anything, until the last moment when he realises what his role is. Soha Ali Khan's performance is quite surprising after her previous film role. Alice Patten, must really be congratulated for her good Hindi, and of course, good acting. Kunal Kapoor with his mild-mannered look and Sharman Joshi, comedian, are also good. Atul Kulkarni, as can be expected is class.

I'm sorry for all those souls who didn't awaken with me when the genration awoke this morning. This movie is a must watch. It's a film with a message though. Where Mani Ratnam with his Yuva failed, Rakesh Mehra, has come trumps with this truly landmark film. The direction is superb and the story truly unique. The screenplay is great, in that it effectively weaves together different themes including, today's indifferent youth who do not care if their nation goes to the dogs, the revolutionaries of the Independence movement, the corruption in politics and how the youth can change things if they did their bit. The switching between the Bhagat Singh story and the present story, to convey the similarities of the eras is successfully done.

One remembers the Bhagat Singh overkill of movies a few years back. All those movies told the stories of the revolutionaries. But they were fairy tales which had no relation to the contemporary youth or India. Their stories were unique to their time. So we thought after seeing those movies. I even used to fancy how it would have been nice if we could be in that generation and have fought like Bhagat Singh did. But I never imagined that a revolution was possible in this era, when we were being ruled by our own elected representatives. But this film shows how the situation is no different, though the players have changed.

Of special mention is an exceptional sequence where, the Jallianwala Masacre is shown, and suddenly General Dwyer, the infamous villain, is replaced by the guilty Defence Minister, who orders the police force to fire at Ajay, the fighter pilot is shown walking towards the firing policemen, smiling, and when he gets hit, says something about his jacket getting torn. That's a satirical look at how things haven't changed. A classic sequence indeed.

Having watched the film one realises, that the revolutionary spirit, that is the legacy of our Independece movement, still lives in the youth, and that it only needs to be awakened for the face of India to be changed.

Padayatty Rating: 5 stars out of 5

Well, what are you waiting for? Go watch 'Rang De Basanti'! Be A Rebel!!!

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Tagged on Technorati as Catch-22, Neil Stephen Padayatty, Neil Padayatty, Padayatty, Rang De Basanti, Aamir Khan, Padayatty Rating.

Thank the Chicken-pox!

2005-10-25T00:55:00.000-07:00

Well, the best omen in a long time. There's been a chicken pox out break in HNLU, causing the administration to shut down college for one month. That means no exams till December, and that I'll be home in Trivandrum for the whole of November, writing my novel, eating the good food Mummy makes, and going to Elloor Lending Library to get all the inspiration needed for painting my masterpiece! The whole world conspiring to help me achieve my objective. Three Cheers! I don't think I'll be blogging any during November! Pray for me! The next thing you might hear about me might be some news item about my book release!

NaNoWriMo Time!

2005-10-10T06:22:00.000-07:00

The situation here at HNLU grows worse by the day. Agreed, there's only about 21/2 years left. But, then I'm only afraid I might burn out before that. To prevent that, I suppose, I'll have to complete my novel, and hide away in some cave or forest, after my first royalty cheque comes through! And guys, you know what, this is the best time to write a novel. Because NaNoWriMo is just around the corner!

NaNoWriMo is the acronym for NAtional NOvel WRIting MOnth, when anyone who successfully writes a quantity-oriented 50,000 word novel is a winner. When first started in July 1999 by the illustrious Chris Baty(who's that), the number of participants then was just 21, of which just 6 ended up finishing their novels. In the next 6 years, the number of participants grew to a whopping 42,000 in the year 2004, with the organizers expecting an estimate of 60,000 participants this time around. A few guys, who participated even got their books published. Check here, if you need to see to believe!

So, I'd signed up last year, but my novel ended up a non-starter owing to end-semester examinations. But this time around, I'm not giving a damn to the end-semester exams. I'M WRITING MY NOVEL! Sure, all of you will get discounted copies. I promise. But why don't you guys, give it a try. I'll make it a tag even. So to anybody who reads this, this is a tag!

Here's more information for those interested...

NaNoWriMo History!
How NaNoWriMo works!

So, sign yourself up and come November, it's 30 days of pecking away at your keyboards for what could be a true turning point!
__________
Tagged on Technorati as Catch-22, Neil Stephen Padayatty, Neil Padayatty, Padayatty, National Novel Wrting Month, NaNoWriMo, Chris Baty.

Happy Birthday 'Catch-22'

2005-10-01T04:29:00.000-07:00

Well me... I put, all of me in a blog... Catch-22!
It's now one year since I began blogging. And I'm thankful for whatever it has done for me!

Started on the particularly Catch-22 evening of 9.29.2004, inspired by Anurag and Vishnu, and a few other blogspots. Catch-22... because I was caught in one involving friends at that time and because the book itself has had tremendous influence in my life philosophy.

***
I had told all my friends at HNLU about my new endeavour. But it was my good friend Marcus Jose Arikupuram, who dropped me the first ever comment on my blog, on my Tribute to Friendship poem. It was something to go by.

"hi padayatty,i was really amazed when i read the poem,i never thougth that you will do such a big adventure.anyway you really done a great work,keep going...i find a great future in you ....ALL THE VERY BEST MY DEAR PADAYATTY....."

Thank you, Marcus!

***
I go through a phase where I'm no able to connect with the people around me, and I feel dead lost! I get an email from a stranger, who said,

"Hello Neil...
I'm Stephanie (or some may call me Nyogen), I've come across your blog... or perhaps your blog found me! I enjoy your thoughts and your writing style, I find your blog compelling, yet refreshing. Even your book list is great, I should create my own, since I love great works of writing.So that's it, I just wanted to say hello, and introduce myself
-Stef"

Thanks nyogen, these words of yours... I'll treasure for ever!

***
Now truly into blogging, I start blog-hopping, reading about the interesting things in other people's lives. At that point of time, I was bent upon increasing the number of links to my blog, just for the sake of it and so that I could get a higher ranking in one of the many blog directories. I even dropped comments asking people to give reciprocal links.

But later I realised... that was stupid. Because, when I started blogging, it was, so that I could fill a great void, so that I could find people like me, so that I could realise I was no loner in the world of thoughts. But that, then, was not to be by the same diplomacies that one does in everyday life, for that would mean connecting with all sorts of phonies and being a phonie myself. That wouldn't fill any void. In fact that would create more voids, and the me would die out beind the facades of a virtual society.

***
I find a like minded. Rather a like-minded finds me. The gibberish queen, profound in all that she says, graces, by giving me my first link. Angeline's adding me on her blogroll, was special because she, a stranger, connected with me based only on what my blog reflected of me, which, I'd like to believe, is the true me. Thank you Angel... What you did was most profound, in that it made me believe in the real me.

***
Then on, I dropped any little phoniness that I had in blogworld, and dedicated myself to blogging honestly (with a pinch of salt, that is). It has been wonderful throughout, and I find myself growing in depth and belief in myself and all that I stand for. I find there are people willing to listen to this chaps, stories, cock and bull or whatever. I thank you, Catch-22 for this!

I would thank,
Anjali, whose comments have been my greatest inspiration...
Jiby chettan, who is an honest blogger and somebody I can relate to,
Sherin K. Daniel, who has been a motivating force in everything,
Neena, my sister for her expert comments on my writing,
TVM Vikings, whose memories make me,
and also everyone who's ever posted a comment on my blog (I'll try to make a list) and other people who have by whatever actions/ommissions have made a difference in my blog. I am grateful to all, for my Catch-22.

***
Stephanie Lynn said this to me,

"I believe it's very important for one to express themself as thoroughly as possible. To some, the understanding and knowledge of our own thoughts is an intricate element of enlightenment or simply seeing the 'big' picture. I've found that in our society, others will tend to find you interesting, compelling, intriguing, if you find yourself interesting. Now please eliminate any element of arrogance or greed, or modern tendencies of self-proclaimed success. In the simpliest, truest form. Perhaps, I should elaborate by adding, if you have a general interests in your thoughts, their development, and possibilities of their expansion - others will be drawn to these characteristics (that they may also possess or desire to possess)."

That's what I'll say to you, fellow bloggers. Wish Catch-22, long life!

Seven Padayatty Things!

2005-09-22T06:44:00.000-07:00

Anjali tagged me the Seven tag! Had trouble just collecting seven things for each heading, silverine tagged me! She suggested checking out, MatterofChoice and Jiby. Their's put me at ease. But, whatever I'm giving here is entirely mine. You got no phonie here! Well, here goes...

Seven things I plan to do before I die!!!
1. Finish writing my magnum opus about the things me and my friends did; about Loyola, about TVM-Vikings, about the best days of my life! (I've started already. Might take a long time in coming out. But, I prefer it that way. The experience is quite worth it.)
2. Make my movie, complete with story, screenplay, direction, camera, music by Padayatty. (tall order... I know! But I'll do it if its the last thing I do)
3. Fall in Love. (who me? yes, why not!)
4. Remain the way I am, because I'm convinced, that I am me!
5. Get back to and finally finish my violin lessons.
6. Well, my parents are my 'perfect fans', in that their belief in my mere mortal self's talents is unreasonably reasonless. But, the world outside might, and maybe do call them fools, for the way they've raised me. So I'll do for them, one thing that'll shut these nosy parkers forever. Give mine parents, a worldly reason to be proud of me!
7. Show this world, that the things I stood for, were never in vain!

Seven things you can do!!!
1. Write notices on the HNLU noticeboard which irk all of those establishment reps.
2. Play the violin. (a bit rusty, but sure can make a comeback)
3. Make friends happy.
4. Maintain at least, mail-once-a-month with friends and family, because though I care, I've never cared to show it.
5. Forgive, no matter what. (even phonies! They're the most easy to forgive; one understands their motivations).
6. Change some lives. (I believe I have, and will continue to do so)
7. Give everyone the respect they're entitled to. (I've got lots of it... So why not share it!)

Seven things you can't do!!!
1. Quit being the shy fellow I am.
2. Get organised.
3. Say no to a friend.
4. Talk cool with girls.
5. Forget the TVM Vikings.
6. Become first in anything.
7. Hurt Neena(my twin-sister)!

Seven things that attract you to the opposite sex!!!
1. Sense of humour, but not the 'giggling-girl' kind.
2. Ability to discuss books, movies, music with me in the same sense as I take it.
3. Sensitivity, but within limits (no fainting at the sight of blood, no 'cho chweet' attitude towards everything). I hate most Bollywood heroines.
4. Independence and respect for my independence.
5. Smartness, not necesarily the way everyone understands the word.
6. Lack of 'phony' characteristics, like exaggerated self-righteousness.
7. Love dear Padayatty, despite his many shortcomings.

(Someday, I'll write a post on each one of these!)

Seven things you say most!!!
1. Eeshoye...
2. Padayatty this and that!
3. I swear a lot. Me speaks a lot of bad words. Can't help it. No malice intended, though! (3 - 7)

Seven celebrity crushes!!!
1. Nicole Kidman.
2. Meera Jasmine.
(I don't think I'll say anymore. If you're asking crushes, most celebrities fit.)

Seven people you want to take this quiz!!!
1. Achuthan.
2. Angeline.
3. Ashok.
4. Jithu.
5. Madhvi.
6. Sandeep.
7. Vishnu.

And, Catch-22 might apply to all these things I've written. As I've said elsewhere, I might eat my words. Can't help it, it's my diet!

P.S. Well, angeline had given me two tags, one of which, the book tag, I've already answered. The other one, will be after you answer this one! How 'bout that!

Umesh gets the Fear of God!

2005-09-17T06:57:00.000-07:00

Varun took a turn for the spiritual, mid-way through our final year at school. Initially, we were all skeptical about the whole thing and regarded it as a mere passing fad. But, when Varun stopped coming to the movies and started delivering impromptu, unasked for sermons in between juicy gossips, we decided we’d been wrong.

Well, if Varun had left his spirituality at the prayer-hall, things would’ve been just fine. But, the dear fellow wanted the lot of us converted for good. He started inviting us to prayer-meetings and that made the rest of us run for cover. But how long can you hide from your best-friend, especially when God too is an interested party. Umesh was the first ‘victim’!

Umesh went to the prayer-meeting with Varun, on a Friday evening and…

It all started fine, I’d say. I walk into the hall, where a small crowd of people are on their feet singing a real spirited song, the keyboardist accompanying with fast-paced beats… real penetrating music. Next thing, the preacher starts clapping hands. Everybody joins in and seems to be getting rather excited. I get the general mood, and unconsciously start tapping my toe. Hey, this is actually cool! There’re even a few good-looking girls up-front! No wonder Varun...
The song died off and the preacher resumes his preacher-talk, with the mandatory Praise The Lord after every second word he says. The keyboardist starts playing a haunting (at least that’s the way I felt) background, when suddenly something happened to the preacher (at least that’s the way it seemed to me)! This man who’d been till that moment speaking, most coherent Malayalam, at an unbelievably supersonic pace, suddenly seemed to have lost his gift of gab. He started blabbering and gurgling and mumbling, in a totally incoherent manner!
I sense a change in the crowd too, and behold, the lot of them have started rocking in slow-motion, eyes pointed heavenwards… in a state of trance! I get the odd-guy blushes and start rocking myself. Then it happened!
A boy in the front row started shaking like he’d got the epilepsy or something like that. That really rattled me! I was starting to get goose-bumps all over! Then the nice old man with the French-beard followed suit. Then the lady in pink sari… then the rest of the front-row, including those good-looking girls, who I’d thought were the reason Varun had turned spiritual.
Suddenly the preacher comes and touches the boy who’d started shaking first and the boy falls senseless on the floor! By this time almost everyone has started shaking except me… I didn't know whether I should've been enjoying the funny show that was going on or not!
Varun, what about him? I turn around in slow-motion and my greatest fear came true. There was Varun… entranced, chanting in a progressive tempo, shaking like hell or heaven! I, alone in the crowd!
I gather my last ounce of courage and make for the door, away from a world apart...

Umesh came running to the mandapam in the Museum, where the rest of us were enjoying just another day of cloudspotting and relishing pointless chat. Here's how he looked after his hair-raising experience.

We had a good laugh, and made mental notes to steer clear off any invitation Varun might offer for another prayer-hall experience.

The Two Mrs. Nairs

2005-08-30T06:45:00.000-07:00

Those of you, who have seen the Vanitha women's magazine, must be familiar with the last page cartoon strip about a pompous house-wife called Mrs. Nair. This post however, has nothing to do with that character. This post is my tribute to two ladies who make my 'Sun'days in an otherwise bleak Raipur.

I'm talking about Srikant's and Shrijith's mother's. They are the silver linings in clouds of home-sickness that form around me while I'm in Raipur. They are my stomach's hope when it rumbles in protest against the food served at the HNLU Mess. They are the closest I get to a mother, quite like my own, despite being in Raipur.

I am at my jolly best when I'm on a visit to any one of the Nair homes. They happen to be my favourite hangouts in Raipur. I start cracking my best jokes the moment any of these houses come into sight. A smile takes over the major part of my otherwise gloomy face. My mouth waters at the thought of the good Kerala style food that would be awaiting me at the Nair home. Cloud Nine never felt this great.

I step in there and greet the Lady of the House with a smile, enquiring whether everything's fine. They smile back and enquire the same of me, in that infinitely concerned tone which God seems to have specially given to mothers. I am hugely comforted by those smiles. It is the closest thing to Mummy that I'll experience before my paroles, once in every six months. Then I sit down to conversation with the Mr. Nair, while Mrs. Nair goes to the kitchen to finish the preparation she's made, I'd like to think, especially for me. Though she be not in the room, the absence is covered by the aroma that emanates from the kitchen.

In about 5 minutes, I am only just keeping the saliva form dripping. Then she re-enters, inviting me to the dining room and to the feast she's prepared for me. Again the motherliness of the whole thing deeply comforts me. An expectant me enters the dining room to the sight of steaming rice on plaintain leaves set on the table, frilled on the sides with the varied Pachdi's and Kichdi's, Erisseries and Pulisseries, Aviyals and Theeyals and all those sadya mandatories. I forget washing my hands and fail hopelessly in trying not to be in a hurry. But Mrs. Nair understands all this, and starts serving.

The feast begins! This could be heaven for all I know! She urges me to eat more. Motherly intuition tells her its time for more sambhar or pappadam. She asks me whether the food is good. I reply incomprehensibly, owing to the enormous amount of choru mixed with sambhar, moru and pulisseri and pappadam in my mouth. In about 15 mins, my stomach is a balloon. Mrs. Nair brings on the Payasam. Do I say no? No! I take extra helpings with renewed vigour!

I would thank Shrijith and Srikant for selflessly introducing these wonderful ladies to me. I would pay my tribute to the two Mrs. Nairs for being what they have been to me. With them around, it's Onam everyday!

Dirty Details

2005-08-25T02:55:00.000-07:00

When I came back from Australia, silverine asked me to give the dirty details. Many posts hence, since I've got nothing better to talk about, I'll give you one especially dirty detail.
I would not have told it to you then... but I guess it's ok now. I won't go back there again... I'm sure the past will not catch up on me again!

That morning our rounds were scheduled in the early morning session. That meant we had to catch the CityRail at 7:10am. As luck would have it, we woke up at only around 6:40am. It was a time for sacrifices and I wholeheartedly sacrificed the cold-shower to my team-mates. My sacrifice just about did the trick and we ran into the 7:10 CityRail just as the doors were closing. Whew!

After a very good morning session, we started feeling hungry (breakfast was another sacrifice we made). We went to a nice place called Australia Square where we had the Sydney kind of breakfast. Halfway through the hamburger, my stomach reminded me that there was one another thing I sacrificed early morning... My mandatory biological waste disposal! The pressure was enormous (heavy supper the night before) and I had to do something!

Not to worry! After all this was Australia, where cleanliness is a way of life! That meant the public toilets were also bound to be clean (contrasted from Pay and Use ones in Rlwy Stations in India)! So I made my way to the sign for gents toilet (swear, didn't glance at the open ladies' door), smiling at everyone (they all seemed so accomplished) on the way.
I opened the door and lo and behold, the king among toilets I'd ever seen! Spirits rising, I opened a cubicle and sat down to bliss!
(I'll leave you guys to imagine what bliss could've been!)

Now comes the dirtiest part of the story! I finish my task and look around for water to clean myself. Horror of Horrors! Terror of Terrors! There isn't any water anywhere, except under me! The horrible truth dawned upon me! This was Australia, where people didn't like water the way we did in Kerala! They'd rather not get wet, what with the cold climate and all! Precisely for this purpose them westerners (aquaphobics) had invented the Tissue Paper!

My eyes searching desperately, fell upon a roll of this thing, Tissue Paper! No... Oh no! There has to be another way! Maybe I could just rush out and get myself some water from the basin outside! Not that... Don't wanna get caught with my pants down in Australia! Another way... another way... Give up!

I reluctantly submitted myself to the imperialists' designs and wiped myself with the tissue paper. I tidy myself and come out of the cubicle. All ok, except for the dirty, slimy, sticky, sleazy feeling in between my legs! It gives chills up my legs! It affects the way I walk! I'm all self-conscious and unsmiling as I open the door... I walk the corridor out, the guy who's got a world of trouble between his legs... an odd one out in a place where others come with troubled stomachs and leave with a sense of blissful accomplishment!

I reach the end of the corridor (jumping to avoid the open door at the ladies'), and as the noise of the crowd hit me, there in the middle of all those foreigners in Down Under, I realized i had another reason to be proud of my country... We've got water in our toilets!

And hey, my stomach wasn't troubling me anymore! That's what mattered after all! I'd achieved what my teammates could never dream of achieving! That's Padayatty! I gain the accomplished look that missed me on the corridor! I smile!

P.S. I did the same thing two more times in different places in Sydney and one time on the aeroplane! I believe I can venture to call myself an expert 'tissue culturist'!

'The Rising' Early Morning For 'Mangal Pandey'

2005-08-11T21:28:00.000-07:00

Well, believe it or not, but when all my friends back home in Kerala have just made it to the queue outside whatever theatre Amir Khan's much awaited movie Mangal Pandey - The Rising is being released, Padayatty is back online to blog his review of the movie! For once Raipur was of some use to me. It so happens that, the first show on the release date of any movie is at 5:00am in the morning. What do you say to that, eh?

An Amir Khan movie coming after such a long gap, especially when his last two movies (DCH, Lagaan) had endeared us so much to him, is bound to create the kind of madness that would cause blind fans like me to get to the cinema hall at any unearthly hour, even if the chances of getting any tickets were virtually non-existent. Despite these odds, me and a few other crazy guys (Achu, Sherin, Shrijith & Tapan) decided the gamble was worth a try, and stayed awake the whole night, and found ourselves an auto (with help from Sandeep Agarwal, my dear friend and junior), only to find at the cinema hall(3:50am) a battalion of fans crazier than us, who had camped overnight and were already in queue for the tickets! Tough luck. We'd have turned back not wishing to get trampled to death so far away from home, if it had not been for Sandeep who found someone on the queue who was willing to go to any limits to make sure that we got some tickets, if, we would give him a commission for his troubles. This was a better option than the stampede!(4:15am)

Time moved slowly as all of us waited, keeping an eye on our benefactor so that he wouldn't turn traitor. Meanwhile, people were doing all sorts of things to get to the front of the queue. They were all scared away by a guy with a lathi who kept waving it viciously, ocassionaly poking the odd guy who tried climbing to the roof of the ticket counter, or the guys sitting on top of the grilled corridor on the last lap to the ticket counter( they looked like monkeys). In between, one guy with his hair styled like Amitabh Bachchan(man did he look funny?) kept waving at the crowd below, from the roof of the theatre where he had somehow got to!

In between all these funny going ons and close shaves from being beaten with the lathi, we lost our benefactor in the crowd. But, there he was returning from the counter, beaming all over after having accomplished his mission. We grabbed the tickets and get on the queue for entering the hall.(5:00am) Here too a stampede is on. We wonder what the hurry is for as the show has not started yet. It is only after we make our way into the theatre that we find the reason.

The talkies people have sold more tickets than the total seats available. We see a crowd of people spilled all over the theatre, some standing on the chairs, some standing diretly in front of the projector hole projecting obscene gestures onto the screen. Well, what the heck... we got this far from nowhere, what's to standing andwatching the movie.

And so it was that my good friends and I, stood through the whole 3 hour long movie, dedicating our pains maybe to the spirit of fanhood!

***

Mangal Pandey - The Rising is the story of a man who probably was India's first ever martyr and freedom-fighter. A man about whom we have heard mentions in History classes as the man who started off the First War Of Indian Independence, but unfortunately about whom we do not know any further. A man who awakened to the possibility of being free during a period of ignorance that had blanketed the country. A man deserving to be equal in stature of any of the much filmed freedom fighters, but who till 'The Rising' has not. An unknown hero in a nation that loves its heroes. Ketan Mehta with his Mangal Pandey - The Rising pays tribute to this man and martyr, in an attempt to belatedly give this great his due.

The movie tells the story of the friendship between Capt. Gordon, an officer in the British East India Company and Mangal Pandey an ordinary Indian Sepoy who saved Gordon's life while at war in Afghanistan. They wrestle each other to tide over their differences, they get drunk together to play pranks on the bad Briton(i think he's the Smith guy from Lagaan), save damsels in distress from the sati pyre's, during the course of their at odds friendship, which as Mangal says is because of their skin-colour.

Mangal takes his trusted friend's word and bites off the rumoured-to-be-greased-catridges, forcing his fellow sepoys also to use the catridges. But later they find out that the rumour was not a rumour. This coupled with earlier incidents like the time when he had to shoot at agitated Indian villagers, causes Mangal to see the true colour of the Company.

When the Company fails to give due regard to the sentiments of the sepoys, they decide not to use the greased catridges anymore. An angry Company general threatens to shoot them. Mangal marches forward and stands in front of a cannon. This does the trick and the dissent starts spreading. Soon dissent spreads to other batallions. The soldiers take over the Company arsenal. The proud generals still do not gauge the seriousness of the situation. They try attacking the rebel sepoys, but end up having to turn back.

The sepoys from this point on see that they have it in them to be free. Mangal speaks of a government of the people to the visiting kings, who want their help in a all India struggle against the Company. They plan to launch all their attacks together and end it with a capture of the Red Fort.

The Company is also not keeping low. They divert a regiment from Rangoon towards India, which arrives earlier than anticipated by the Sepoys. The Sepoys all run away frightened, leaving a determined Mangal Pandey to take his stand against the Company's vast army. After firing a few shots Mangal shoots himself, in the hope that his blood would at least spark a revolt. Though Mangal survived, he was sentenced to death despite passionate arguments by Cap. Gordon on his behalf.

Mangal Pandey is hanged to death in front of a crowd of villagers. At Mangal's death the people awake to their power and the rest is what we Indians call the First War Of Indian Independence.

The music by A. R. Rahman is nowhere near the magic he's known for. The Mangal Mangal song raised spirits in the theatre. Me Vairi Vairi was also ok. The background music was at places western style and not quite fit for the scenes.

All the actors did their job well. But Amisha Patel still has to learn to cry.

The direction is not anything superb. So's the script. The movie has nothing artistic about it either. With respect to playing to the masses, instead of concentrating on patriotic moments and spirit dialogues, lots of time is wasted on the bollywoodkind of sex. Totally unnecessary. Some of the songs felt like planted without purpose. The climax, where the emotions should have been upped, was video footage of Mahatma Gandhi leading the masses and Nehru lifting the National Flag. That's not the way Lagaan ended... That's why it felt so good after coming from the cinema hall after that one!

Despite this, I liked the scenes where he faces the Britons alone, where he stands in front of the canon fearlessly and the one where he twirls his moustache at the Court Martial.

Verdict: Not up to the hype! Watchable, but nothing great to report.
Padayatty Rating: 2/5

Books and Padayatty!

2005-08-06T05:19:00.000-07:00

I am a bookaholic! My parents imbibed in me a good reading habit, which has not left me till today. Started with Grimm Brothers and folk tales, then abridged versions of the classics; Tintin, Asterix, Tinkle, Amar Chitra Katha in between; Enid Blyton... then the 18-till-they-die Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys (that was a race for who among frinds would complete the whole list first)... mention Three Investigators and Sherlock Holmes; then onto the Best-seller Paperbacks (John Grisham, Sidney Sheldon and the list goes on...); I was into the wonderful world of books, reading at least 2 books a week till I reached the 10th class.

Then on, other masculine and teenage distractions affected my reading habit. Though I have not given up on it, the number of books I read, has been minimum in the last four or five years. But I read most of the books that I consider my favourites, during these years.

Vacations was the time for reading. After roaming all around the city with friends the whole day, I would read late into the night some book I took from the Eloor Lending Library. Now that I have mentioned it, I might as well commend Eloor for being a very good library for fiction lovers, who cannot afford to buy New York Times Best Sellers with their hefty price tags (guess most Indians belong to that list). The Loyola School library was another place where my list of 'books I read' grew long. Another factor contributing to my interest in books, was certain people around me who were as excited as I was to discuss books; my sister Neena; my best friend Faiz Ali Mohammad, who I concede, defeated me in Hardy Boys, though I suspect he only read the summary given on the cover and the last chapter!

***

Angeline's been bombing me with tags! Been delaying it for no reason at all (read lazy)... so here goes my book tag!

1. Total number of books owned: Well, I come from a middle-class family, which is rich when it comes to bookish wealth. I don't think I can make any sort of guess as to the number of books owned. I personally own very few books (me and my sister got no mine's, only ours!).

2. Last book bought: Don't tell this to anybody because the last book I bought was a xerox copy of the Half-Blood Prince (bourgeoise publishers down! the proles need all the fanatasy they can get!).

3. Last book read: Same as above. Was lucky to find a copy(actually) in bloody Raipur!

4. Books that mean a lot to me:

1. Catcher In The Rye - Describes a state of mind I often find myself in! I face 'em phonies everyday, and I sure have a soft-corner (not the self-righteous take-you-to-heaven-with-me kind) for 'losers' as the conventional world calls them.

2. Catch-22 - Yossarian says they're all shooting at him. Somebody corrects that to they're shooting at everybody. Yossarian asks, in all simplicity, what the difference is! That's what Catch-22 means for me. My favourite anti-hero(conventional sense) deciding to live life for himself, forgetting country and all the liars who churnout Catch-22's so that simpletons like me and Yossarian end up dead for some cause which is not there!

3. To Kill A Mockingbird - My favourite hero, who decides to make a stand for what he thinks is right, when the society at large persecutes him. He becomes a role model for his young children, revealing to them and conditioning them to live by what their heart says is right in a world so wild. If I ever be a father, I'd be modeled on my own Papa and Atticus Finch! Also probably at the back of my decision to join law school.

4. Swami And Friends - I read this one long back. The friendship and the innocence of the boys felt very Indian and close to my own. Swami is just like me. He wastes time just before the examinations drawing up elaborate lists of things he might need while preparing for the exams. He edits and re-edits them and ends up getting very few of the items in his painstakingly made list. A wannabe organised guy, who loses himself in the finer details! I too have done the same things. Preparing schedules for my study leaves, which included minor details like the paragraphs in the books I had to study, tea-breaks, stretch-breaks. By the time I had finished the first schedule, I would be late by at least ten minutes on the grand opening. This meant another list. Poor Mummy has thrown enough schedules into the waste-basket!

6. Franny and Zooey - I'll do it for fat-lady! I recognize Jesus's presence in every individual, howsoever irritating they might be. For that reason, I might even put up with them! Salinger's style of writing definitely influenced me a lot (The bracket syndrome)!

7. Animal Farm - Helps me bear HNLU Farm! Enlightens me on how the majority of the people are, how they forget the past very easily. I loved the cynic, Benjamin the donkey, whose world view is probably best!

8. A Christmas Carol - Tells me not to go the Scrooge way. It's the spirit of Christmas for me!

That's all I can think of now!

Now, as the tag must go on, here's to...

Achu, Adarsh, Anjali, Anish, Anurag, Debanshu, Jiby, Madhvi, Praveen and Vishnu.

And...

Don't expect to borrow any books from me... I chew and digest them!

Padayatty on the Run!

2005-07-10T21:14:00.000-07:00

Been two years here in Raipur; but never seen what early morning is like. Today I found out... Thank you, Sudeep and Tapan, for helping me fulfil a two-year old wish!

I've been asking Sudeep 'Military' Vijayan to call me also when he goes on his post-nocturnal runs for keeping fit. I mean he can do it without a thought; what with his Military background and all. Not poor me. All my previous attempts at this sort of thing... failures!

Back in Trivandrum, all of us guys used to get bitten by the fitness bug once in a while. Same evening, we would each get a new pair of canvas shoes (the ones with green heels with absolutely no grip). Before night's sleep, the day before 'The Day', the strategically important task of setting alarms, and asking somebody or anybody to make sure we wake up. This is a particularly unpleasant task, what with all the pessimists back home making wisecracks about my previous unsuccessful attempts at the task at hand. After making these arrangements and finalising over the phone for the umpteenth time the finer details of our mission, sleep in the face of excitement, is minimum.

I'd have set 3 alarm clocks with a gap of 30 mins between their set times. The brilliant logic (another of those masterpieces which consistently arise from my intellect) behind this is that, given the human being's inherent unwillingness to obey alarm clocks, the first two alarms would serve as means to satisfy one's ego, and one would need to wake up at the third alarm only. You see, it's a kind of best of three system. You win the first two rounds against the alarms, and lose the third one as a gesture of sportsmanship. Ultimate gain for you! Brilliant me!

'The Day' arrives the next morning, after having slept through three alarms (I guess my ego's too big to be satisfied with two alarms (mental note to increase number of clocks next time)), when Sajjad, who's the closest to being organised in our group (that's because his Umma is very strict), wakes me up with a call, enquiring angrily as to why I have not yet reached the rendezvous point. I explain with a quick lie and get on my way.

The rendezvous is at the Trivandrum Museum-Zoo Park, which is a really beautiful park right in the middle of Trivandrum city, very near to my home. It used to be my stock joke when anybody asked me where I lived to say that I have lion's instincts, because I wake up every morning to the roar of the lion at the Zoo.

Anyway, by about 6:30 all lazy-bones' would finally get to the park. Then the lot of us would start jogging the circular park, the lazier ones at a leisurely pace, taking time to look at the girls in their designer-wear. Maximum of two rounds and then its sitting at the mandapam in the middle of the park, sharing fitness info like pro's. Then disperse, after having chaaya and ullivada from the nearest thattu.

After the first day's jog, the strength of the jogging fraternity would have diminished to null, because of the body-aches consequent to having made the mistake of moving one's lazy body, after having allowed it the luxury of never using it for days at length. That would be end of the mission for the time being. Again a few months later, the bug would bite again, and we would go through the motions again and... you know what!

One time, me and Varun went for about one week at length, and finally we had to stop because I couldn't bear Varun's valippus (you know, jokes that kill you) early in the morning (come on, I bear it the whole day during school, that's enough). Another time, the whole gang decided to go together and went seriously enough for the first few days. After that, one morning everyone was feeling lazy and we decided not to jog for that day and sat chatting in the mandapam. Same thing the next day, and the next... Three days later, everyone was feeling lazy to even talk. So we decided we could all take a nap in the benches at the park. Just for the day. Same thing the next day. And the next day... my Papa who comes to walk daily, saw all of us blissfully napping away on the benches. That was the end of the story... I never got to buy anymore canvas shoes!

I mean, Papa is right and all you know. The thing is while all other people went to the park early to do honorable things... me and friends went there to sleep. That's just not what anybody should be going to parks for, unless you're an animal at the Zoo or something like that! So there.

So, today morning, Tapan came and woke me up. He clarified on my enquiry that, Kariachan who was also supposed to go with us decided not to come. That was inspiration enough not to go. I offered having no shoes as an excuse and was about to get back to sleep when Sudeep Military came back from his jog, and said hi and offered to lend me his running shoes. That blew the excuse, and suddenly some heavenly inspiration made one thing lead to another and there was Padayatty on the Run!

Hurrah!

Wish me luck guys. I take this to be the begining of a new chapter in the life of the organised Padayatty. I'll need your prayers and wishes to keep on jogging. For tomorrow and a lifetime of Padayatty on the Run!

Statistically Me!

2005-07-10T21:01:00.000-07:00

I just became a statistic. You can be one too...

Hum

2005-07-03T23:53:00.000-07:00

This vacation was one of the best in years. The trip's lasting images come once more to my mind...
All of us were huddled together, Indian cricket team style and going around in circles when as if by divine inspiration somebody, think it was Anish, started singing Bum Chikku Chikku Bum from the film Hum. And everybody caught on, remembering clearly the lyrics of the old song about being for each other. No well rehearsed choir could match us that night, and we sang with passion, and renewed our friendship with a memory of a lifetime. At the end, everybody embraced each other and promised what we all knew for sure. That we would be friends forever!

"Bum Chikku Chikku Bum,
Chikku Bum Bum,
Bum Chikku Chikku Bum!

Ek Doosre Se... Karte Hain Pyar Hum!
Ek Doosre Ke... Liye Bekaraar Hum!

Ek Doosre Ke Vaaste Agar Marne Bhi Ho...
Hai Thaiyyar Hum!"

Lord Thank you for my friends! I'd be lost without them guys!

The Trip!

2005-07-03T22:15:00.001-07:00

Oh! What I would have given for it not to end! The trip to Pondicherry and Yercaud and 'Bangalore'... with friends! And the fun we had both in the run-up and during it. I mean when again, when an encore?

Four days before the trip, we started the campaign for the common funds. That meant visiting all the old acquaintances all of us had, and getting their varied contributions towards the common-good. The female ones were preferred. The boys almost never have any money with them. They're the ones with difficulties and inflation economies. But the girls... their parents load them up with enough money, which they have no way of spending. The only outlet is giving loans to poor boys who want to go on pleasure trips.

So there was the team under the leadership of expert canvassers Umesh and Anish, getting on the phone and that person who by had the bad luck of a sometime acquaitance with the lot of us. The money was borrowed on one pretext or the other, almost always with a promise, but never the intention, to give back the sum. I'm sure they'll get their dues in the Kingdom Come! For their priceless contribution to friendship, for their part in giving us more memories to treasure, of friendship. Three Cheers to all the benefactors who contributed to our trip!

Pondicherry was o.k. You see, we dont go bananas over beaches and that sort of thing because hometown Trivandrum has all the beaches we ever wanted, complete with Madammas lying on the sand in bikinis. Our search for a hotel in Pondi, turned out to be hilarious with people running over themselves to get us to a hotel with Caberet and swimming pool and more night entertainment. You wouldn't belive it, but we chose nay for the Cabaret and the rest and probably saved ourselves from being hauled off to some police station by kepieed policemen in the middle of the night. Nothing more to Pondi, because a bunch of guys dont think the Aurobindo Ashrama is interesting. So we skipped historical interest places, and all other interest places there was to see in Pondi. In fact we dint see much of Pondi, because all of us were bored at the thought of the culturally vibrant setting, and add the hot weather to it, we ended up seeing more of the channels on the TV at the Hotel than Pondicherry.

Gladly bidding Pondi goodbye, we left to the high point of the trip, which turned out to be the unplanned trip to Yercaud, a small hill-station about 20 kms from Salem. We spent two really wonderful days there, practically doing nothing other than making up ghost stories, and scaring each other, when we weren't running around the estate playing war like only small boys do. The team containing Manu, Sabari, Naveed and Umesh, beat us unfair and circular.

We went to the top point and all of us removed our shirts and started dancing semi-nude on the hill top amidst the fog and heavy wind. That coupled with the chill from the ghost stories which really scared Feroze and Ravi (me, I was not scared), made the experience truly wonderful.

I guess I'm not writing anymore beyond... it gives me the blues! Homesick, friendsick!

The Rolling Stone

2005-05-26T09:40:00.000-07:00

"How does it feel
How does it feel
To be on your own
With no direction home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone?"

Well, I don't know much about anything. But sometimes I feel, being the kind of irresponsible person I am, I might be better off being the Rolling Stone. Ah! The Bliss! Just the super-tramp, the musafir, who keeps going with no direction, giving nothing and taking nothing.

But then... I tend to do some giving. You know things like unsolicited advice. That don't cost me a thing. But turns out, unsolicited advise that actually turns out to be useful for the other guy, puts the musafir in trouble. That builds a bond that pulls the musafir back. Poor me never intended it to pull me back. I did it out of the pure goodness in me. But now turns out I'm the object of the undeserved gratefullness of another, to whom I told something which I wouldn't do with myself!

Go on... but beware of giving any of those damned lectures on things you can't do yourself! But then leaving without taking nothing. That becomes difficult for me. I spin a bond with the guy who offered me some grub when I was starving. I wanna do something for him. Surely, there can't be two rolling stones in the same town. Is there anything I can do? Oh don't you worry about that... I'm doing just fine. You could've asked for something brother. then I wouldn't have given it to you. But now you chose so selfishly to not take a favour in return of a favour. That puts me in trouble. I can't break this bond!

There's friendship and love and other beautiful things in this world!

Walk on! Roll On! But don't mind about gathering that bit of moss!

My Best Friend's Sister's Wedding!

2005-05-17T09:05:00.000-07:00

Last month, two of my friends' sisters had their marriages. Now on an occassion like that the best friends are supposed to be around. Not just for eating extra-helpings of payasam or ice-cream. But for mental, physical and whatever other forms of support that can be given. And in fact, in the recent months we had been actually chitchatting about what role each one of us would be playing. About all of us wearing mundu's and running around being important. About serving the payasam and boli during the sadya. About welcoming mutual friends and showing them to their respective seats. About running to the flower-shop for that extra bouquet that was forgotten for some reason. About urging the guests to eat more "One more piece of chicken... Aw, come on... we thought you'd eat all of this!". About staying together the night before the marriage wreaking havoc when help would have been preferred. About...

So after all this idle talk, what happened was that I came back to Trivandrum just in time for Anand's sister's marriage. That meant I couldn't do any of the pre-wedding work. Chin-up Neil, you at least have the wedding day to make the best. Come wedding-day, I and Faiz, arrive late for the muhurtham. The only thing left now of course is to watch some others take the role's which we'd dreamt of playing. Anyway, I figured in a few snaps on the mandapam. That way at least somebody will think on seeing the photo's that I was doing something important.

So after that came Sabari's sister's engagement. There was Anish, Feroze, Manu and me from the gang. Once at the engagement venue at Attingal, we found that there Sabari's sister had enough chettans and chechis to do all those work we were supposed to do. That did it. Again the few snaps and the good food, with the extra-helpings and all. We scram!

Now the wedding's coming up. I promise myself that I'll be around to invite the guests and put up the pandal and serve the sadya and...

P.S. I wish the Chechi's of Anand and Sabari Happy Married lives!

Police Story

2005-05-11T08:15:00.000-07:00

The other day me and my friends, were waiting in Anish's car in front of Umesh's flat, waiting patiently for the coming of His Umeshness to join us in that evening's wanderings. We had waited for some time when a police jeep drew up alongside our car and four hefty policemen with grave faces jumped out.

(P1 who has a Veerappan moustache peeps in and asks)
"What are you doing here?"
(Naveed closest to the window answers timidly)
"Nothing"
(to which)
"What nothing?"
(Naveed less timidly)
"We're waiting for our friend"
(Feroze chips-in with a broken explanatory sentence)
"Umesh(pause)Swamidas(pause)Flat(pause)7(pause)B"
(whew that took more time than you'd think)
(P2 who looks as meek as a lamb, barks at us)
"Get out here into the light"
(all of us get out with expressions of this-doesn't-bother-us-expressions, which didn't look anything like this-doesn't-bother-us-expressions)
(The P's do a thorough search of the car; even opens up the dickie, and lifts the trampoline with the cautious approach of a bomb-inspector;finding nothin the P's expressions change a shade towards friendly; P1 asks in patronizing tone)
"What do you guys do?"
(answers all around; tones gain in confidence though thoroughly shaken)
(Feroze picks a cue and ventures in a confidential tone)
"Was there a complaint?"
(P's consider themselves too high-placed to answer, but save us with a nod)
(the P's leave the scene without explanations, leaving four sheepishly grinning youngsters all alone except for the small crowd of onlookers who'd found the whole incident funny)
(we continue with our grins trying not to think about the onlookers, till the last of them left the show)

Well, what was that all about! Scared me to the 'silence is golden' mode. Me the great lawyer-to-be is probbaly too scared to speak about rights when it's required. I'm sure it's good I didn't venture into a rights talk. The lathi would've answered that. What's the use of any bloody compensation once you've been beaten up with a police lathi. No compensation prepares me for the pain that it might cause. Ooh, I'm scared.
After all this, once inside the, I come up with an idea for lodging a case of defamation against them P's.
The Hero arrives, but a trifle too late.
Trash it.

For the Record

2005-05-11T08:14:00.000-07:00

Here's HNLU's campaign at Sydney, for the record:

http://www.spacemoot.org/ap2005.htm

For those who need to see to believe!

Me Back on Air

2005-04-26T05:36:00.000-07:00

I'm back from the 'Down Under', where everything's cool. It's a beautiful country, with toy like houses, green lawns, colourful hoardings, big skyscrapers... I mean there's too much, that I don't know what exactly to blog about. I guess I won't do a delibrate blog. I'll relate experiences as it comes to me in between writing or thinking about something else.
My team reached the semi-finals of the competition, and in fact was the only Indian team to reach the semi-finals. That's not much, but that's kind of solace.
But I do reiterate what I've always believed... HNLU is going places. So are all HNLUites. How else do you explain the brilliance of Adarsh Abraham Varghese, who won the prize of Best Oralist (Preliminary Rounds). Proud of you my boy. And me... I'll tell my grandkids the story of the prize.

Hail Hidayatullah!

Me Down Under

2005-04-09T02:04:00.000-07:00

That's the culmination of the effort. It really had to happen after all this. Thank God it did.
Me... I'm off to Sydney for the Asia-Pacific Round of the Manfred Lachs Space Law Moot Court Competition 2005.
We leave today on the 7:30pm train for Mumbai. Tomorrow we catch the 6:30pm Qantas direct flight to Sydney. Morning, the 11th, we'd reach Sydney, for another Glory Quest. God help us!
We'd performed good at the Bangalore funding rounds. So I believe we have just as good a chance as any other team to Glory.

And you guys, wish us luck!

Pope John Paul II

2005-04-02T21:26:00.000-08:00

He's dead!

I am no one to write pages on the Pope's doings. There are a few points perhaps where I have an inherent disagreement with him. But neverthless, his person never ceases to amaze me. He represents Chritianity in most things he does. I well appreciate his stands on family and marriage issues. In a fast liberalising world, he did a good job stepping out to stop such liberalizations which are done for the sake of liberalization. I feel strongly on the importance of the institution of family, which the Pope sought to protect. This Pope was more of a world citizen, in that he practised tolerance of all other's unlike him. His rapproachments with Protestants, Jews and such other acts were proof of this.

I remember a news item I saw which deeply moved me. The Pope, had asked forgiveness for the sins Chritians had committed against the Jews. That moves me a lot. I mean, it's not easy to accept that you have sinned, especially when you are accepting that on behalf of a billion or so, people. And asking for forgiveness, is something that shows utmost humility which is characteristic of Christ's teaching.

The Heavenly Host Receive Him!

'Holi'day

2005-03-26T21:51:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was Holi. I love the colours and all, but I don't see the fun in dragging people up and down a drain and plastering their faces with mud. You think I'm joking? I'm sorry, but I'm not. That's what they did to me and all the others yesterday.
I held out till afternoon, after which I decided to surrender myself unto the 'holi'gans. They came looking for me in my room and did not find me. How could they? I had already surrendered myself. But these fools in their excitement actually passed me shouting and singing, without even seeing me. I remember even calling out to them.
Finally after running around all the rooms, and cursing me and swearing that they would give me the harshest of all punishments when they found me, they came down to the front-yard of the hostel, only to see me eating Holi sweets, with a mischievous grin on my 'Holi'-coloured face. They all gave a victory cry, as if they had caught Boo Radley himself.
Then they all lifted me up and ran in procession to the drain that's there right in front of the hostel. That's the place where we all pee, when there ain't no room in the bathrooms.
So they drop me into the drain, and me being thin and all, I fit perfectly into the drain. Then they do the dragging towards the water tank where a few guys are bathing nude in coloured water. As I lay calm, knowing well enough that struggling would only mean more hurt to myself, they kept on pepping the slime on me with all sorts of toppings. So there were a few plastic covers, more slimy dirt (a bit of which went into my mouth and mixed with my 'Holi'sweets), and then more colours.
So by the time we reached the end of the drain, I was barely me. I mean, if I were to screen for a horror movie, I'm sure I'd scare the hell out of the director. I got back to my room, wearing only my U.W., and finished off one cake of soap before I could even get myself to look in the mirror. And finally, when I look in the mirror, Hey man! that's me there! I Love You!

On 'Passion of Christ'

2005-03-24T19:19:00.000-08:00

Last Lent, Mel Gibson's 'Passion of Christ' was the talk of the town. Given the hype, I too wanted to see it before the Holy week so that I too would be prepared as never before for the Holy Week. But as it came to be, I couldn't see it until after the Holy Week. But what I saw caused disgust, rather than any redemption. A gory and violent movie concentraing on the kind of brutality that Jesus was subject to, failing to even convey in any sense the true significance of the sacrifice that makes Jesus, a different person to look up to. It seemed to me, the point of the movie was to condemn the cruelties of the olden times in particular the cruelties that the Son of God had to endure.

The point about Jesus is that, he did it all for us! Where the movie fails is that, it sort of makes you think, that if Jesus had been subjected to lesser cruelties he wouldn't have been the great man he is. That, as is obvious, is not the point of the greatest sacrifice ever made.

Jesus Christ

2005-03-24T18:48:00.001-08:00

He tells us to be like children, and of their innocence! That's what we need to do for no more Columbines! A Return to innocence!

He washed the feet of his own disciples, elevating them! That's great! I mean, in a world where small men have big ego's and big men have even bigger ego's, here's a man,who decides to do things differently.

He died for his friends! When friendship is all about mutuality, here's somebody who'd given up his life, after undergoing harshest of tortures, for the sake of his sinful brohters.

Jesus Christ, you gave me the answers! You saved me, and keep on doing so everyday!

Another Columbine

2005-03-23T05:58:00.000-08:00

It's a sad thing that incidents like Columbine keep occurring again and again. While America sets out to change the world, heal it and all, they are quite forgetting what their children are losing. What with a policy favouring gnrunners and gunmen. I offer my prayers for the dead souls and their parents, and hope for no more Columbines.
And get ready for attacking rock music, teenage counter-culture and the rest as reasons for these.

Watch Out! Here Comes HNLU!

2005-03-22T06:05:00.000-08:00

Well I'm sorry I don't have the story with the happy-ending to tell you guys. But I'd say our experiences in Bangalore, told us the choices we made were by no means wrong.
My team, found glory at HNLU. We, as a member of the Moot Court Society there commented "Swung the University!", beating Delhi University and GNLU in the prelims, and then GLC-Mumbai in the Quarter-Finals.
But the Semi-Finals saw us pitted against NALSAR in an intense battle, that ended with us being eliminated from the competition. The scores for that round were, 5-4. NALSAR went on to beat NUJS in the finals, and secured the funding offerred by ISRO.
So the point here, is that, we, mere 2nd year students, from a University everyone conveniently likes to write-off, have made it big there, with quite a few judges making flattering remarks of it's two mooters.
The results of other Moot Court competitions held during the past years also show a similar trend. The Runners-Up position at Louis M. Brown National Rounds, the 3rd place at Jessups North-Zone, another 3rd place at Amity and so on.
Hello! Where's the hopeless University some people were talkin' about?
So watch out! Here comes HNLU!
__________
Tagged on Technorati as Catch-22, Neil Stephen Padayatty, Neil Padayatty, Padayatty, NALSAR, HNLU, NUJS, GNLU.

Off to Bangalore!

2005-03-16T03:47:00.000-08:00

Me... I'm off to Bangalore for the Funding Round of the Manfred Lachs Space Law Moot Court Competition. It's to be hosted by the National Law School of India University, Bangalore. Hope we win there. That way we'd be able to get comfortably to the Asia-Pacific Regional Rounds to be held in Sydney this April. Wish Adarsh, Parth and me good luck.

Here's my view on the chances of the team. I feel that Adarsh and Parth are the best mooters that could attend any competition representing HNLU. Both of them's got solid arguments to make, and do so in a convincing manner.

And me... I could claim to be the best researcher (blushes) from HNLU, given the fact that I got the highest marks for the Memorial submitted for the Intra-University Moot.

So there... given all these I beleive that we do stand a good chance, or as good a chance as any team which is participating has got.

I expect to be back in by the 23rd or so. Till then, I'd reccommend reading Adarsh's narrative of our Moot Court preparation at,

Badnera Days - 1 and
Badnera Days - 2.

Who is Holden Caulfield?

2005-03-16T03:29:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry I didn't do a proper intro of Caulfield ol' fella. I kinda thought all ye guys would know him just the way ya know me. Anyway, he's the epitome of Teen Angst, and a favourite personal hero of mine, who had all the wrong things happening to him. He's as careless and absentminded as I am and he too can't stand phonies. So that's him Caulfield.

To get to know him better... here's some interesting reads...

Holden Caulfield's Perception Of The World.
So where do the Ducks go in the Winter?
Holden Caulfield character sketch

Man! Caulfield! You're damn famous. There's a lot about you on the net.

Caulfield's Phonies

2005-03-14T21:04:00.000-08:00

Me and Holden Caulfield's got a lot in common. Just like Yossarian and me. I mean if all three of us could get together, that would most certainly, nearly kill us all.
Anyway, the thing about Caulfield that makes me and he such tight buddies, is his irritability, though not aways consistent, of phonies. And that... is what I'll talk about in this post.

Here's a race that surpasses the human race by their sheer number! Here's a race that's all over the place, but you never get used to them! Here's a race that would kill you all by their mere statements! Ladies and Gentlemen, we're talking about, YOUR FRIENDLY NEIGHBOURHOOD PHONIES! You know them, you acknowledge them, but you don't talk to them about them.

My favourite phonies include those: who gives expert comments on movies while he watches them (includes 'surrealstic', 'neo-realist', 'film-noir' and the likes), who gives opinions on things he's hearing for the first time, just so that he might appear Stephen Hawkins' big daddy, who says "The climax of the movie is simply great!", in between seeing a movie for the first time, who steals the jokes you said and bursts it out in front of girls without even acknowledging the original joker, who has all sorts of questions to ask in class (his questions are longer than the lecture), has a love-affair he's not sure of and does all sort of phonie crap to show the world, what true love is, who being an alcoholic tells little lambs not to follow his path and so on.

I mean if you just open your eyes and look around, you'll see your neigbourhood teeming with 'em phonies. There's the ones who spent a quarter of the day talking on cellphones in loud voices strutting all over the place, the lovers who are forever showing physical love around the college campus, the ones who try to appear cool in front of girls, the ones who play the hero, all those Bollywood actors and actresses when they are beign interviewed, all those politicians... every one of them. There's a lot more of them. But the task of identifying them, I'd leave it to you.

All this wouldn't be conclusive as to whether I'm a phonie or not. In fact, I too am a phonie at times. You can't help being one with all these phonies around you. But I swear I don't do it by choice.

A Million Hindu's

2005-03-10T00:08:00.000-08:00

My favourite newspaper now sells a million copies daily. Read the new-item at Thanks a million, dear readers.

The Hindu has reached this milestone in its journalistic journey, not without reason. It has over the years done quality reporting, all the while holding steadfast to certain journalistic basics, which most other newspapers today have conveniently forgotten. While the other papers thrive on sensationalism, papparazi stunts, Page 3 glamour and sleaze serving, The Hindu, delivers quality, relevant news, which is unbiased, authoritative and concentrates on the news rather than on opinion formation.

I'd approve and certify this excerpt from the above-mentioned news-item:

"On its part, The Hindu has been striving ceaselessly to reach higher levels of reliability, relevance, and professional standards in offering its readers high quality and varied fare, depth and width of coverage, and enhanced local coverage. Most importantly, it has adhered steadfastly to its core journalistic values of truth telling, independence, objectivity, seriousness, and integrity."

I wish The Hindu all success!

More Dagwords

2005-03-08T20:43:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry, but I think you guys have to put up with my current obsession with Dagmology*. I found a few interesting Dagwords**, that I thought I'd share with you Dagsters*** so as to enrich your personal Dagosaurus****.

Brawl Waiting - the sudden change in tone when the telephone rings in the middle of an argument between family members such that the harsh ranting becomes a melodic greeting in the blink of an eye.

Exual Tension - the feeling when you see your past lover with a gorgeous new love, and you’re wearing a tracksuit, have not brushed your hair, and are involved in some messy, sweaty task.

Siterature - a word for those particular books that seem to gravitate directly to a shelf near the toilet.

That's all for now.

*Dagmology - (dag' mol o gee) n. The study of Dagwords, their discovery and spread.
**Dagword - (dag' wurd) n. A word that fills a gap in the language.
***Dagster - (dag' stah) n. A person who creates Dagwords.
****Dagosaurus - (dag o' saw rus) n. A dictionary of Dagwords and their synonyms.

Source 1: Richard Glovers list of words that should exist - but don't
Source 2: ABCSydney.

The Dagword Challenge

2005-03-08T19:33:00.000-08:00

If you guys have read "Words that should exist", about which my previous post was, then you must have also come across the challenge put by the columnist.

The challenge was for a dagword for a line up (or queue) that always seems to move faster than the one you are stuck in!

Here's the dagword I coined for this particular predicament, you and I have found ourselves so often in - "Iqueue" - reason being the 'i'rony of the 'queue'.

Brilliant! Isn't it? Thank you, Thank you! No mention please!

That success makes me want more and a search on Google reveals to me a Dagword Challenge held by ABC Sydney.

Challenge 93 is for a word for the experience when you hear a word not previously encountered and then, in the days following, hear it again and again and again, almost as if the word is stalking you.
They've even given a sample answer, Lexiconned. That means you won't win the challenge if that's the word that came to your mind. Better find some other word.

Email 702@your.abc.net.au with your answer and you could win a handful of Australian books, including the first edition of The Dag's Dictionary. I don't know whether it's applicable internationally. But I suggest you take up the challenge.

Dagwords

2005-03-07T22:46:00.000-08:00

No... You got it wrong. It's no badword, this dagword thing. It's simply a word which should exist, but doesn't. Still don't get it... Oh well, I guess I should explain.

Have you ever had the feeling that you were in a situation and you didn't have the right word to describe the situation? Have you ever felt that suffocation, that uneasiness that stems from your inability to pinpoint the situation in a single word? If you didn't feel it, you're probably dumb, and if you did feel it, then here's an effort to fill the gaps in language.

Ladies and Gentlemen, presenting... The Dag's Dictionary!

Here, you'll find that what you've been seeking!

If you wanna know more on Dagwords, read this month's Wordspeak column on 'The Hindu', written by Anand : "Words that should exist"!

Narain Karthikeyan

2005-03-07T02:40:00.000-08:00

Fantasy-land... I dreamt of him coming first. I guess that's too much to expect in any first race. Maybe even Schumacher had times when he didn't finish on the podium. He sure had them.
Still it's feels like... you know, the times when Sachin fails to make a century after you'd made ball-by-ball calculations of how he would reach there.
Anyway he did good. Three Cheers and Best of Luck to him.

We love Divorce's!

2005-03-06T19:56:00.001-08:00

"WHEN marriages last, they go unnoticed. The tabloids blaze forth only about divorce and separation!" says, V. Gangadhar, in his article Golden Jubilee in The Hindu, Sunday Magazine.

A thought indeed. Back in Kerala, Malayala Manorama takes immense pride in blazing forth about Malayalees and divorce. For instance, when Boris Becker divorced his wife, Kerala's leading daily, proudly displayed in size 48 font the headline, "Becker Divorces his wife for Malayalee Girl!"
Bizarre, isn't it! It seems some girl who had her roots in Kerala, was the reason Becker divorced his wife and Manorama, had reason to be proud. God save this world!

Hello World!

2005-03-03T20:43:00.000-08:00

Hello! How's it all out there in the real world. Is it still rotations and revolutions and all? I mean is night still dark and day's bright?
What! Oh! Thank God! It hasn't changed much. I hope it doesn't too.
Well... I always knew it wouldn't change too much. That's why I took this break. That too for good reason too. I was working on the Memorial for the Manfred Lachs Space Law Moot Court Competition. That means hard-work. That coupled with certain other complications that cropped up, I was unable to meet you guys in BlogWorld. Anyway, that's past, and now I'm back. Happy blogging!

P.S. Tony Pierce says not to give excuses for not blogging for days. It seems nobody is interested in such things. Oh well... skip this post if you must.

There's a Loyolite in every success!

2005-02-05T23:56:00.000-08:00

There aren't many from Loyola, who took to a 'law'ful career. But of those who have actually decided to go for the batty profession, there has been cent percent success. I'd cite a few examples to prove my point.

Ananth Padmanabhan (2001 ISC)of NLSIU, currently in 3rd year, was part of the team which won the prize for the best team at the prestigious Bar Council Of India Moot Court Competition. He also got the prize for Best Student Advocate of India. Three cheers to him, and glory to Loyola.

Arun Krishnadhan (2002 ISC) of NUJS, currently in 3rd year, was part of the team which won the First Prize for Best Mooting Team, in the Jessup's India-North Zone Round, 2005. He and his team would represent India at the prestigious International Round of Jessup's at Washington. Loyola and AMDG.

Arvind Vijayan (2000 SSLC) of HNLU, currently in 2nd year, was part of the team which won the prize for Best Memorial, in the CUSAT Law-Fest 2004. He did us proud.

Neil Stephen Padayatty* (2000 SSLC) of HNLU, currently in 2nd year, was part of the team which won the 2nd Best Memorial at the 4th National Human Rights Moot Court held by SILT, Kottayam. Proud to be a Loyolite.

Now if your Lordships have no further questions, I would rest my case. I don't know about any of the achievements of our other 'Law'yolites. But I'd record that Kiran Prince Chengalai(2000 SSLC), who's here at HNLU, with me, is doing good at a comfortable 4th rank in the University. Three cheers to him too.

Besides these names mentioned already, we have a few other Loyolites at Law schools, like Shankar(2002 ISC) at NUJS and Aju G. John(2001 ISC) at NLSIU. If any other Loyolite see's this post and think that they ought to get mention here, they may please drop a comment
someplace.

Cheer Loyola Sons!

*Ahem... that's me. But I guess, since I'm a Loyolite and proud to be one and this list is about Loyolites, I guess I deserve mention.

HNLU at Jessup's

2005-02-04T00:19:00.000-08:00

Good news for HNLU. The team consisting of Anand Shankar Jha, Ananth Kaushik and Tanuj Bhushan, brought glory to HNLU, when they bagged the prizes for 3rd Best Mooting Team and the 2nd Best Memorial at the Jessup's India North-Zone Competition. Hail Hidayatullah and congrat's to all three of them. They did us proud!

Indian Bloggers List

2005-02-03T00:29:00.000-08:00

Here's a list of all the Indian's in BlogWorld. This list maintained by Anita Bora won the "Best Indiblog Directory Award" in the 'IndiBlog Awards 2003'.

Here's to India:

Indian Bloggers List

On the Gonds of India

2005-02-02T00:03:00.000-08:00

I'd make use of my blogspot to promote my friends and also as a source of links to much needed information, the likes of which I had a hard time finding.

Last sem at HNLU, my classmate Janak Hidko, did his Sociology course project on the 'Gond Community'. His comprehensive work received much appreciation both from the faculty and the students. I'd recommend this very informative article to everyone who wants to find out about the Gond's. Here's the link:

http://www.joharadivasi.com/adivasi_articles/oct_2004/article1.php

Congratulations to Janak on his article's getting published online on the joharadivasi.com.

Padayatty in Blogworld

2005-01-31T00:50:00.000-08:00

Since the time of the blogging revolution's early beginnings, I've read about it in local newspapers. I even came across a few blogs which didn't interest me any much to get initiated into blogging. Moreover, by the boom time of the blog's I was in some of my most serious academic phases, which meant I wouldn't have any access to the internet. So after all that, I came and joined HNLU, whereon began my blogging days.

Here are the links to two blogs that made me want to get into blogging. They're not any drop-dead great or anything, but something about these appealed to me.

http://vysnu.com/

http://anuragjain.blogspot.com/

The first one, belongs to somebody I knew from my Loyola days. The thing is that, though this guy was not any great friend of mine, or any swell guy by my standards, once I started reading his blog, I couldn't help coming back to his blog. That's what blogging is all about.

Catch my reviews of both these blogs, very soon.

On Blogging

2005-01-30T02:08:00.000-08:00

A cool write-up on "How to Blog?". I disagree with the one on poems though.
About the rest... I'm gonna do just that. Blog-World... Here comes Neil 'Blogger' Padayatty.

Bloggies 2005

2005-01-29T00:49:00.000-08:00

Here's your chance to decide which blog is the best amongst all. You could've even nominated your own. But then, the time for filing nominations is over. Next year, maybe even Catch-22 will find it's place in the nominations. But for now, lets vote for the best. Go ahead and exercise your Blogger Right:

The 2005 Bloggies

I'll recommend Tony Price's article on How to Blog for the best article or essay about weblogs category.

The Girlfriend Catch!

2005-01-28T20:21:00.000-08:00

Here's one of my favourite catches:

I think of the beautiful girl who'd be the love of my life...
Of the likeness she has to some beautiful actress!

Suddenly a million dumb blonde equivalents come to my mind. The kind that go on talkin' incessantly about nothing. The kind that is over-sensitive for the wrong things. The kind who think loving is the showy kind of phony thing.
I'm scared to hell. God... I sure don't want any dumb blonde as the love of my life, who'd eat my brain out and still gain no brain.

But then, would I be satisfied with just any ordinary looker. The Higher-me says 'Beauty is only skin deep' and that I should as the rational being that I am, look beyond mere facades to the inner beauty. But the human-me looks towards Bollywood and Aishwarya Rai or Meera Jasmine or the likes. I have more emphathy to the human-me. I give-in.

But wait... Here comes my Higher-me and my guardian-angel-complete-with-harp-and-all; does a prick on my sensitive conscience and tells me, 'thou art not so handsome yourself'. So, if I treat someone as ugly, then that's how everyone will treat me. There are also these movies where people who don't see the not-so-beautiful-true-love right in front of their eyes and go after strange-foreign-beauties, and finally somewhere near the end of the film, see the real true love. That's a nice feeling. But the catch is that... mostly all these next-door-girls are also good looking actresses. The only film, which didn't end like that was 'Shallow Hal'. That was a good movie. Another was 'Shrek', where the frog-turning-into-prince routine was reversed and recast into Princess-turning-into-Ogre! Wonderful themes!

But again, I don't consider myself as an owner of an appearance as unaesthetically disposed as that of either Shrek or the guy in 'Shallow Hal'. So where does that leave me? Somewhere in the middle... or is it Catch-22!

Don't know

2005-01-28T05:52:00.000-08:00

Flabbergasted! That's what I am... at the way things are going. They take the most unexpected twists, throwing you into disarray and disarming all your senses... Defeated! Is what I may become at the end of it all... When you think of throwing it all away, letting go, pops up here a challenge... No I'm not man enough to face it... Why not give it a try??? What for... to be more confused the day after? or to feel more bitter at your manipulators. Catch-22... I don't suppose there is any definition for it. Even the Catcher in the Rye needs food to eat. So... do I lose my soul for my stomach? And forgiveness... How many more times do I chose to forget and put up the holiest-of-all face? Fed-up... ya of the others... but not me... what about the Utopia of mine. Is it Neverland... or is it? What about being the Rolling Stone? Nah... I'm too sensitive for that. The Complete Unknown... Too ambitious for that. They never wrote a song or made a movie or wrote a book about someone like me. I could go on... Tangled up in Philosophies! Could go on... But the miles to go, calls me.

Rashtrabhasha

2005-01-18T03:35:00.000-08:00

On my views about the Hindi Chauvinists... Read first what Ramachandra Guha has to say...

Hindi Chauvinism

Hindi Against India

Glory to the Great Nation!!!

Me and Catch-22

2005-01-15T05:11:00.000-08:00

The reason I got obsessed with this Catch-22 thing is that, for the ordinary person that I am, everything seems Catch-22. Some clever guys always come up with one catch or the other and fool me. The catches always favour the clever guys. Poor unintelligent dullards like me are the one's who always are at the receiving end of the catches.

I mean... take Yossarian for example. The poor bastard was just an ordinary man, who thought going for war was going to be just another job. He ended up being tangled up in all those catches. His innocent acceptance of the brilliance of Catch-22, reflects his absolute failure to make anything out of the catch.

Same's the case with me... poor me. The funny thing is, despite this world being so full of catches, I never am able to come up with any catches to entrap these clever guys. They always deliver the final catch. They leave me speechless. Dumb me... There's a lot of catches I could talk to you about. The catches involving friends, family, studies... I'll talk about it another time.

Yossarian is a personal hero of mine. Here's my ordinary man. Here's me with all those unclear concepts and all. Saying this now... saying that then... I definitely do not understand the world in any strict sense. What I do know is that I do not have any correct-exact-to-the-point answers for anything. My philosophy is unclear. I'm a most unstable person as far as thoughts are concerned. So don't expect me not to eat my own words. That's my diet.

Here's a Catch-22 to be aware of:

Don't ever keep a strict philosophy.
There's bound to be a Catch somewhere.

Ro'Bin' Laden

2005-01-11T22:24:00.000-08:00

That's what Liaquat Ali Khan has to say in the Hindu Open Page. Check this link out for more on why Osama Bin Laden is similar to Robin Hood and why Osama is a typical American heroic material:

http://www.hindu.com/op/2005/01/04/stories/2005010400261500.htm

Ladies and Gentlemen, presenting...

Osama

"Produced in Washington D.C., directed by the CIA, and filmed in Afghanistan!"

The CM & Me!!!

2005-01-06T05:43:00.000-08:00

Ya... CM is indeed Chief Minister of Chattisgarh. So, I and Adarsh and Parth and the Bangladesh-Returned Debanshu and Amit, along with Prof. Shantakumar and Prof. Saha, all went to meet the CM at his sprawling bungalow at Civil Lines. God was that Chief Minister lucky! Having me to meet him and all.
Anyway we went in the Univ bus and alighted near the gate. There was a big crowd with all sorts of petitions to make to the CM, gathered there.

But since we were big-shot-lawyers-to-be, and we had the big-shot-look with the black coat and all, and more because of the genuine-big-shots that had cleared our appointment, we didn't have to wait outside like 'we the people' did. We went right through the small gate beside the big gate(I guess that one's for the CM only), to the security shed. There we were supposed to fill up our names in a register. But again, since we had our RIP(really-important-personality), the Resgistrar, G.S. Verma, with us we could get away with writing Registrar+8. That's us.

We took the road-often-taken to the CM's bungalow and there, we waited for our turn to come. So there was I and you-know-who-all standing talking amongst ourselves talking in sarcastic tones about our favourite politicians(Lalu and Jaya included). In between some guy, maybe PR, came and took notes on what we were doing there. Amit gave a detailed account of his exploits at Dhaka. You see he had place HNLU on the map by winning some really coveted prizes there. Three Cheers, Amit old boy

A Nair-Geertz Affair

2005-01-04T02:49:00.000-08:00

You would remember that I had put a link to a website of my friend, Srikant Nair, which was a dedication to Prof. Clifford Geertz. Well, the good news is Srikant, today got a letter from Geertz, appreciating his endeavour. Now isn't that great. Talk about International Relations. Here's the now famous link, once agin for you:

http://srikantnair.tripod.com/

Three cheers!!! Even our Sociology Professor is excited about this. They're thinking of something to lure him to HNLU. Something like the Cockfight at Bastar.

Citizen Media

2005-01-03T04:30:00.000-08:00

On the blog being the new democratic means of serving news, as against the embedded journalism that we see more and more, nowadays. Here's what Sevanti Ninan, reputed media critic, says in his column 'Media Matters' in The Hindu Sunday Magazine:

http://www.hindu.com/mag/2005/01/02/stories/2005010200430300.htm

We The Media !!!

Sport Essentially Is Fun

2005-01-03T04:07:00.000-08:00

My reflections on the year 2004 in sports...

Well, I found this article by Rohit Brijnath in the latest issue of the Sportstar. It just about sums up all my thoughts on sports. Check out this link:

http://www.sportstaronnet.com/tss2752/stories/20041225004900600.htm

Nice cover-story.

Happy New Year!!!

Padayatty's Movies Round-Up 2004

2005-01-02T03:39:00.000-08:00

I didn't see too many new movies in 2004. Reason being this stupid city called Raipur has only moth infested non-AC cinema halls. Further they don't release any English movies in English. They dub it into Hindi. Despite such concerted efforts to keep me from watching movies, I did manage to see quite a few good movies. Here's my year-end list.

Kal Ho Na Ho* - The K-Jo effect. Another superhit for King Khan. One movie that will add to my all-time list. Vibrant colours in every frame, a pure joy to look at, a truly pleasurable experience. Check up in a few days time for my full-length review of Kal ho Na Ho.
Padayatty Rating: (5/5)

Main Hoon Na - Here's a typical Bollywood potboiler; But for a change, all our favourite film critics are endorsing it as a tribute to the Bollywood Film Industry's yesteryears. Big hit. King Khan Rulez. I would say I love it for SRK's sake. I would say otherwise, a largely unmemorable film. Not even typical SRK style. Loved the song 'Chale Jaise Hawaein'.
Padayatty Rating: (2/5)

Yuva - Mani Ratnam gets back to making bilinguals and end up with a not-so-successful film. The Tamil version was more of a hit than the Hindi one. I saw the Hindi one. Style reminded me of Quentin Tarantino's Pulp Fiction. The high point was the music by A.R. Rahman, and songs that could be termed youth anthems. 'Dhakka Lakka Bukka', 'Fanaa' and 'Anjaana', especially. The theme, which is about the Youth taking active part in the country's future is an appreciable one, except that the movie was more of love stories than the theme itself.
Padayatty Rating: (3/5) +1 for music

Pirates of the Carribean - Johnny Depp is simply fantastic as the pirate captain. Superb fantasy adventure movie. Thoroughly enjoyable.
Padayatty Rating: (5/5)

The Village - Manoj Night at it again. Generally everyone agrees that is is his best movie till date. But, I liked the earlier ones better. Still, a really good movie. I see a few metaphors in it, which I might discuss later on.
Padayatty Rating: (3/5)

The Day After Tomorrow - A really good movie which tells the world what the world would be like, if we continue abusing it the way we are. I see a criticism of USA somewhere in it, which really appeals to me.
Padayatty Rating: (4/5)

Dhoom - A stylish film, neatly executed with cool bikes and Matrix style slow-motions. Didn't know Bollywood could even come near this. John Abraham is one handsome devil. The songs were good, especially the Tata Young adaptation, 'Dhoom Machale'. Uday Chopra and Abhishek Bacchan were also good. Female leads were just eye-candy.
Padayatty Rating: (4/5)

Murder - Remake to the 'e' of last year's Unfaithful. But imagine that on Indian screens, that too a theme of adultery and its consequences! Mallika Sherawat oozed sex, and that too, to the liking of the masses. Sex bomb! The songs were good, especially, 'Kaho Na Kaho' and 'Bheege Honth Tere'.
Padayatty Rating: (2/5)

Girlfriend - A thoroughly distasteful movie, though I say it here, not in the Parivar sense. Nothing remeberable at all. Some people even said it was sterotyping of lesbians, which is a very bad thing to do.
Padayatty Rating: (0/5) +1 for the scenes.

Chathikkatha Chandu - Hilarious, slap-stick. Every moment enjoyable. Jayasoorya is every man's comedy hero. All the supporting cast were also great. The songs are on my favourite's list. 'Love Letter', 'Mazhameettum Shruti' - excellent.
Padayatty Rating: (5/5)

Lakshya - Farhan Akthar makes a really good movie on life in the forces. Wonderful performance Hrithik Roshan. Innovative music by Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy. But nowhere near the class of Dil Chahta Hai and came at a time after an overkill of Kargil War films. Not for the masses.
Padayatty Rating: (4/5)

Prisoner of Azkaban - Just another kiddie movie. Where's Alfonso Curaon the talented director. Emma Watson as Hermione looks cute.
Padayatty Rating: (2/5)

4 The People - Jayaraj on militant youth power for changing the order. The fast cuts used efficiently. Excellent music. This is Jassie Gift. 'Ninte Mizhimuna', 'Loka Samastha', 'Lajjavathiye' ... all wonderful. Didn't like the theme.
Padayatty Rating: (2/5) +1 for the music.

Hulchul - Priyadarshan remakes Malayalam's longest running film Godfather. The original was definitely better. But then for the Hindi heartland, which doesn't get any standard comedy, the movie is just perfect. Vidyasagar's music is useless.
Padayatty Rating: (2/5)

I probably left out quite a few movies. That's because they don't come back to my memory that much. That won't happen this year, because this year I'm blogging.

This post is getting boring... Sorry 'bout that. So stop.

*This one was released December, 2003. But I suppose I would be justified putting it here because I didn't have a blog last year.

I Don't Care For Them

2004-12-30T23:55:00.000-08:00

While all those unknown faces face, the worst days of their life,
Here at HNLU... A sinister show of extreme extravagance;
At 50 per head, an unnecessary prodigality;
A grossly thoughtless act; superfluous.

So what if there was a Tsunami,
Not amongst it, my Family;
Well, here my body is so safe,
I might as well eat the cake.

I will not move, a finger of hand,
For those I love, are all in shape.
And about those people...
"Don't somebody die every other day!"

My thoughts are needed elsewhere,
For tiny things I have no care;
To all those people out there,
I wish a Happy New Year!

So we will have all Rock 'n' Roll,
At the Tej Bahadur Hall,
Dance till death at party ball,
In this season post-Yule.

While we in our merriment gay;
They that died the other day,
Would hurl a curse, that will stay!
But then... who believes in curses?

Lend me ears, O friends of mine,
Give all you a prayer of thine,
To those that lost their dear ones.
That's the least y'all could do for them.

-Neil Padayatty.

__________
Tagged on Technorati as Catch-22, Neil Stephen Padayatty, Neil Padayatty, Padayatty, Protest Poem, Poem.

Happy No-Birthdays !!!

2004-12-30T00:01:00.000-08:00

Ordinary human beings like me are plain scared of it. Don't you laugh at me, because if you were an ordinary human-being and you happened to witness this strange ritual here in HNLU, then you would feel the same too.
I dare not talk about it; but if you will keep it a secret, I will tell you. So swear upon whatever it is that you usually swear on and listen.

They call it 'Birthday Bumping'.

It could be anyday. I tell you... anyday. What with somebody's birthday coming up every other day! So if the current day is your b'day(God forbid), or the b'day of somebody even remotely connected with you, then I'd say... run for it buddy or you've had it!!!

The whole boys hostel, would be there... displaying unprecedented unity, screaming at the top of their voices, organising flawlessly like an army for a war, in a concerted effort to beat the shit out of whoever it is, that was unlucky to be born that day. They all, with all the unity in diversity that India represents, kick on the arse of the protagonist, in between wishing him happy(?) b'day. Talk about happiness. Why not bliss?

Given the strength of the boys hostel... that's atleast a hundred odd blows. Some say, the pain stays for a day, some say that it feels good, but what I say is that, I'm bloody scared of the bloody thing.

I tell you... you must actually hear the blood-thirsty screams of these people, exhibiting with no inhibitions, any hitherto dormant animal insticts, they have. The eyes, dancing with sadistic pleasure; the faces, contorted in one devilish mode.

At first I used to stand nearby watching. But, of late I remain inside with a pillow over my head, more from the repulsive nature of the act than from the founded fear of the mob finding some combination in which I too would be a victim.

All this is done in extremely good faith, ie. at least in a superficial level. Personal vendetta sometimes might be involved in finding a combination for an enemy. Some even say its a good way to give vent to the repressed emotions and all.

I hope it would stop for some reason. Maybe... after something serious happens to somebody! But the thing is, I cant wait for that long, because I might be the one to whom the serious thing happens!!!

I'll be seeing what I can do to stop this. But the prospects look bleak.
So till then let's just keep this between ourselves and hope for the best.

And to you people... I wish you the very best and hope that none of you ever have Birthday's.
__________
Tagged on Technorati as Catch-22, Neil Stephen Padayatty, Neil Padayatty, Padayatty, Birthday Bumping.

The Society in Books

2004-12-27T01:37:00.000-08:00

Well here are some books I found relevant because of its significance in the arts subjects that one learns at law school.

Animal Farm by George Orwell - my all-time favourite Political satire. We have all the communist greats featuring either as a pigs or as some socially relevant animal member of the Animal Farm. Read it and learn how when they couldn't make out any difference when they looked from man to pig and from pig to man.

1984 by George Orwell - again a classic satire, prophetic at times, with frighteningly real resemblances to the New American Empire. I found a semblance of an argument against Capital puishment there. If there's anyone else who've read the book, and felt that it could be an argument against the ineffectiveness of Capital Punishment, please discuss.

Catcher in They Rye by J. D. Salinger - Sociology here. Holden Caufield is the deviant. How he hates them phonies. The world is full of phonies when one comes to think of it. Wonderful book.

Vernon God Little by DBC Pierre - Sociology again. The knife that Vernon Gregory Little imagines on his back, for which he holds his mother responsible, is sociological explanation of guilt and prick of conscience that mother induces in you so that you are forever under her control. Profound. This one's also a satire of the current American society glued as it is to the Reality of Reality TV. There's even playing God by choosing which Death Row inmate should be executed first. There's one about lawyer's being the baby's who when born give out false hooshy kind of laughs. Reminds me of some lawyers I've seen.

That's all I can think of now. Will post if something new comes up.
__________
Tagged on Technorati as Catch-22, Neil Stephen Padayatty, Neil Padayatty, Padayatty, George Orwell, DBC Pierre, J.D. Salinger, Animal Farm, 1984, Catcher in the Rye, Vernon God Little, Sociology.

Merry Christmas !!!

2004-12-25T00:51:00.000-08:00

Come my favourite season of the year and I get the blues of the good old Christmas's with Thistle Hair, Frosty the Snowman, Bambi and Rudolph Reindeer, with decked halls of boughs and holly, where Santa Claus comes with his merry "Ho! Ho! Ho!" and my Papa sings the Christmas Carols in his cracking voice, my sister making a crib worthy of the 'Unni Isow', and Mummy cooking something delicious.

Well there's more to the world than mere fantasy. I know that. But let me for one time of the year, dream of the Winter Wonderland, and the Sleigh Bells and the Christmas Star.

For me Christmas is the time for freshening myself... to be reborn along with Baby Jesus... A return to innocence!!!

Merry Chrismas and the choicest blessings of this wonderful season to all of you.
__________
Tagged on Technorati as Catch-22, Neil Stephen Padayatty, Neil Padayatty, Padayatty, Christmas, Merry Christmas.

Srikant's Tribute To Clifford Geertz

2004-12-21T05:30:00.000-08:00

Well, there's this guy called Srikant Nair in my University, who happens to be my best friend and happened to do a project on Clifford Geertz. He's asked me to put the link to his website dedicated to the great man, on my blog. So here's the link to this very informative website:

http://srikantnair.tripod.com

Any of my juniors doing the Sociology course, can look up this site for all there is to know about Geertz.
__________
Tagged on Technorati as Catch-22, Neil Stephen Padayatty, Neil Padayatty, Padayatty, Srikant Nair, Clifford Geertz, Sociology, Culture.

Revelations 2004

2004-12-21T05:09:00.000-08:00

The junior guys here at HNLU, organized the Fresher's Party, for the new batch which joined the University. Frankly I didn't expect the event to be anything even comparable to the one held for the last batch, which was a huge success, thanks to the excellent showmanship of the then anchor, the inimitable Shashank Bijapur, the short skit on the Spirit of HNLU organized by my batchmates, which really sent my spirits soaring despite the fact that two of my best friends had left the University.

Incidentally, we had to have a formal function before the event owing to that day being the anniversary of Hidayatullah, the man after whom the University was named. The Governor was the Guest of Honour. There was nothing largely remeberable about that speech (o.k. i did nod off in between), except that when the speech was over, Professor G.V. Ajappa gave him a standing ovation, in which he was the only one standing. Must have been some speech, if Ajappa sir was impressed.

After the boring section hosted by the buereaucrats and diplomats, it was time for some 'Revelations' (that was what the program was called). But before I get into the event itself, a word about the pre-event hard-work done my illustrious juniors. In HNLU, there is an indoor badminton court cum auditorium, painted blue and with asbestos roof. Well... I never thought any such building could look any good. These guys had done it. Wonderful... with all those heart-shaped balloons filled with gas, which formed an upward arc over our heads, the Hum and Tum of Hum-Tum hanging on the front of the stage looking at us, the varied cartoons on the wall featuring the oft quoted Lawyer Jokes, the over-all atmosphere of the junior-senior bond, that makes institutions. Special congrats to Saurabh Saraogi and Ravi of 2nd Semester for the art-work. They had succeeded in creating the perfect setting for the juniors to be welcomed into the fold, lose their inhibitions, and be that 'what', whatever they are.

The programs kicked off with Bharat Budolia of 2nd Semester, singing the good old 'Papa Kehte Hain'. This was before any comperes came onstage. That was a good one, putting everyone on their feet.
The main program for the was 'Revelations', which had the juniors all walk up to the stage when their respective names were called and introduce themselves, after which they were asked one tricky question each. The hosts were Tapan Narayana, Shriniwas, Abhinav Kadekar and Kumar Kaushik. Of these, Kaushik was clearly the best showman, chipping in with witty remarks to supplement the set-script. A true showman's worth is in his skill to improvise according to the situation. Kaushik sure had that skill.

The juniors all were, without exception, dull in their answering, especially to the mandatory question of what their biggest achievement in life was. They answered that it was getting admitted to HNLU. Shriniwas poked fun at this by asking one of the guys to name his greatest achievement in life other than getting into HNLU. The questions were the usual mix of innuendoed ones and point-blank dumb queries. But then, you tend to be accomodating because, after all we're in no position to throw the juniors out just because they weren't witty enough.

I place on record the acts of a certain spoilsport who thought he was being cool hijacking the Fresher's Party. That was the Special Officer on Duty at HNLU(because the old VC got fired), Pankaj Dwiwedi, IAS, who tried being a great showman, by barging into jurisdictions not quite his own. He was indeed a great showman with improvisations and all, asking G.K. questions relevant to the students state of origin. But then, there is also another quality of a great showman, which unfortunately he doesn't know. A great showman respects other showmen by not hijacking or attempting to hijack other showmen's shows. My new friend Marcus Jose humoured the confident S.O. by answering to his questions with a funny-toned, mocking, '"I'm sorry sir".

Another unsavoury incident was the one involving a new girl, who had the bad guts to threaten the crowd that she wouldn't speak if the crowd didn't keep quiet. Kumar Kaushik immediately cautioned her about her manners when dealingwith seniors, that too on Fresher's Night. I'd say what that ill-informed dame did was an insult to the good Crowd!!! After all The Crowd is the backbone of all successful shows.

In between 'Revelations' there were variety items, including songs by Himani Wasnik, a 'Quit Playing Games' sung by four 2nd Semester students, the names of whom I don't remember(Shriniwas was one of them), a dance mix by my buddy Ajay Rajput, Garima, Shalini and Rahul.
These items kept the audience from getting bored with the overkill of 50 'Revelations'.

The last program for the night was the much-awaited skit. This was the cherry on top of the cake. A continuation of last-sem's 'Spirit of HNLU' skit, this one featured mimicking of HNLU's favourite teacher's. Oh and what funny mimic's that too. There was Pushpakumar sir of Environmental Law fame, mimicked effectively in Vaibhav Shukla's extreme grief at one of the students' plucking of a flower. There was Uday sir, our Civil Procedure cum Constitution teacher, the loved warden of the Halls-Of-Residence, by Arindom Hazarika pausing a leap-year after almost every syllable. Then there was Mahesh sir, the political guru, played by Akshat Chaudhary, searching for a pen all over his body, taking long strides around the class room and his accented Hindi at somebody who's found talking in class.

Then came the coup-de-tat, by an actor of class, the Abhay Shankar 'Baba'. And that too, playing a most interesting character, Prof. Jaffer Hussain. The bloated lower lip, the perpetual stoop, the characteristic leafing through of every book that goes through his hands, the all-pervasive love for the fairer sex, all enacted skillfully to perfection, that one would think the absent Hussain sir was actually there.

The play was for the crowd and lived up to being a real crowd taker. We in the crowd really enjoyed all the jokes even though it looked to the expert eye as too artificial when it should have been spontaneous. The direction could have been better. But in the end the skit succeeded in its ultimate aim of putting the new crowd as well as the old crowd in high spirits for the next big thing in the evening the Dance-Party.

Well, by that time, dinner had started being served and I, ever the food-lover was first in line. About the gig, well... you know I'm not into this kind of dancing. Anyway great time. Everybody enjoyed the show. Me too.

Hail Hidayatullah !!!
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Strawberry Fields!!!

2004-12-21T04:55:00.000-08:00

Arguably India's No.1 Rock Fest, organized every year by the students of NLSIU, Bangalore, Strawberry Fields is one event I really would like to go to. I read a review of the Fest on the RSJOnline. Here's the link to it:

http://www.rsjonline.com/articles/articledetail.asp?SNO=100

Top of my list for November, 2005. I'll be there.
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Hail Hidayatullah !!!

2004-12-20T03:15:00.000-08:00

I wrote this article on the first anniversary of HNLU. It got published on the Law School Tutorial website.

Friends,
Many would tell you that it is otherwise. But, I should tell you, it is not so. Because I was there.
15th of July, 2003:
It was an assortment of students from all over India. I was among them. I was nervous, scared of the future and apprehensive of the risk I was taking. But what I saw around me, cheered me. I saw faces – full of hope for a bright future, eyes – intense and focused to achieve their goals, minds – that itched to change the world, souls – I yearned to know better, Friends – whom I would learn to cherish.
A lamp was lit, signifying the birth of a new University, founded with the cherished mission of ‘Dharma Samsthapanartha’ as its goal. As we watched, we saw the fire, we lived history.
A year hence, that fire still burns on. Hail Hidayatullah!
15th of July, 2004:
It's the first birthday of the infant. It's the day when one looks back and remembers fondly the events, of a year gone by. The pain, the trials and tribulations, the joy. All of which are part of the infants growth.
Tribute:
A year has passed, and one definitely feels proud and lucky to have been part of... of what will, in all probability be an institution of repute, of excellence, of glory, in years to come. We've transited from fly-filled hostels, sleepless mosquitoed nights, waterless bathrooms, half-built classrooms with broken fans and food you couldn't call food, to a respectable, student oriented, top-class University over the period of one year.
When one looks at achievements, there'll be the Louis M. Brown Client Counselling Competition which HNLU with its limited resources organized to a grand success, the 2nd best Memorial Prize won at the 4thNational Human Rights Competition and various minor achievements.
I take this opportunity to pay my tribute to HNLU and all the people who have been the life of it. It was the vision of many a great minds that gave us HNLU. It was sheer professionalism that saw the birth of a new University, built right from scratch, in a matter of few months. The infant grew, fighting the odds, surviving successfully against the storms that season the best. All throughout it was nurtured with the love of a father and the warmth of a mother, by one man. It was seen through its darkest hours by the wise guidance of this one man. I do pay my tribute to the man who made history and named it HNLU, our Vice Chancellor, Prof. Jose P. Vergheese. He continues with his efforts as the University is geared up to move into the new campus in the next academic year.
Hail Hidayatullah !!
I would pay my tribute
to Prof. G.V. Ajappa who taught me the first lessons in law during his Legal Method classes;
to Prof. Bhat Sairam, who inspired us to excel, who taught us to stand up for our rights, who, even though he is not at the University any more, makes his presence felt by the legacy he left;
to Dr.Maheshwar Singh, who took the first lecture at HNLU, who with his cheerful character has made life at HNLU a pleasure;
to Mr. Uday Shankar who felt the pulse of the students and stood up for them;
to Major Aby T. Varkey for the experiences he gave that changed our world view;
to Mr. Ashish Mohanty who was the students own teacher very much involved in academics as well as in non academics;
to Prof. Syed Jaffar Hussain who was the jolly spirit who roamed the corridors of HNLU spreading pure love and goodwill.
I would pay tribute to those non-teaching staff who contributed their handfull of sand towards making HNLU a prospective Everest.
I congratulate all my friends, on their succesful completion of a years learning at HNLU. I believe that they, like me, are better off by the experience they have been through. I dream for the great new future HNLU, about which, I would one day be able to talk with great pride.
Hail Hidayatullah !!!
***
Click on the title to access the published article at Blue Corner on LST.
Else, click below:
http://lawentrance.com/bchidayatullah.htm
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Power on the Coconut Tree

2004-12-15T04:50:00.000-08:00

Here's an interesting metaphor for power, which my Political Science Professor told me:

***

In Kerala, there is a coconut extract called toddy, which gives you a high when you drink it. Toddy tappers climb on top of coconut trees and collect toddy from pots which have been previously fixed up there. Quite often one finds these poor people, getting drunk on toddy and enjoying the night with dancing and merry-making. Sometimes, in their drunkenness some of them climb one of those tall coconut trees. Once they are up the tree, they drink whatever toddy is on the tree and get even more drunk. At that moment they would be feeling real good and 'on top of the world'. But soon they get confused and frightened because of their confusion. This confusion stems from their inability to come down from the tree owing to their drunken state. They eventually let go of their hold on the coconut tree and fall down and either die or are seriously injured.

***

Same thing with power. When you first get the feel of power, you are extremely attracted to it. Then when you start having some power, you start wanting more. Then when you have more power, the quest still is for more power. Eventually that very want would destroy you.

***

Power as it is!!!

***

Thanks, Mahesh sir.

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Progress Bars

2004-12-14T06:02:00.000-08:00

I've got a long list on my transfer's page in eMule. The list is so damn bloody long, that it might take a million light years or so to complete. But I have hope. Hope for the future. And what keeps me hopeful is the Progress Bar.

O Progress Bar,
Thou art a star,
Who gives us hope,
And helps us cope,
With all the pain,
Before the gain.

I have spent a million years staring at my progress bars. They never cease to seize my attention. It's a million prayers that moves the blue bar, to cover the red bar. They tell me that I am not there, where I was yesterday.

Wish I could have a progress bar, showing my life's progress in it. That way I would have a reminder of how much time I while away in front of the progress bar.
Aw! Forget it. That's not possible. Besides if I had such a bar, I wouldn't be very much surprised if I found myself staring at my progress bar, expecting some progress when I'm actually doing nothing.

What I understand is that my well-wishers are my progress-bars. Though they do not have the blue bar-red bar system, they're just fine.

Good-Night!!!
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Lazy Me

2004-12-14T04:10:00.000-08:00

Well 'twas the lazy me who never gets time to even mail home that started so ambitiously a blog, expecting foolishly as always that this would be one thing i would do correctly. Here i am with only two posts after a lifetime has passed since signing up at blogger. Same old me. But this time i swear by whoever is the unlucky guy who is going to get his head blown off because i swear on his name, that i will never ever expect that i am going to get organized or anything. I'll just be same old me and expect same old me would find blogging interesting enough to do it regularly the way i do things which i like, examples of which may be sleeping, staring into the computer till infinity and so on. The funny thing is I'm always on the internet, doing all sort of things, neglecting my studies in exchange of the pleasure of... I think i got the subject for another post. So there.
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Tribute to Friendship

2004-09-29T22:42:00.000-07:00

One day Kota and Chishty sent me a poem they wrote especially for me. I replied with another poem, I had written especially for them. That was the first poem I ever wrote. Here's that one for you guys.

Friends will come and friends will go,
The seasons change and it will show,
I will age and so will you,
But our friendship stays, strong and true.
- Chishty and Kota.
So say you, my bosom friends,
Aye to you, it will not end,
Age or season, what it may,
Our friendship stays all the way.
Whadya say, my twosome friends,
Of my way, of telling things.
And I'll stay, forever true,
In your sway, till time through.
The day will come, when we'll meet,
Till then we part, for what we dreamt.
I'd repeat it once again, the two of you,
Are best of friends, I'll ever have.
- Padayatty.

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Catch-22

2004-09-29T06:38:00.000-07:00

A few years back I read this wonderful book by Joseph Heller called "Catch-22". That's where I got the name for this blog.
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