'Holi'day

Yesterday was Holi. I love the colours and all, but I don't see the fun in dragging people up and down a drain and plastering their faces with mud. You think I'm joking? I'm sorry, but I'm not. That's what they did to me and all the others yesterday.
I held out till afternoon, after which I decided to surrender myself unto the 'holi'gans. They came looking for me in my room and did not find me. How could they? I had already surrendered myself. But these fools in their excitement actually passed me shouting and singing, without even seeing me. I remember even calling out to them.
Finally after running around all the rooms, and cursing me and swearing that they would give me the harshest of all punishments when they found me, they came down to the front-yard of the hostel, only to see me eating Holi sweets, with a mischievous grin on my 'Holi'-coloured face. They all gave a victory cry, as if they had caught Boo Radley himself.
Then they all lifted me up and ran in procession to the drain that's there right in front of the hostel. That's the place where we all pee, when there ain't no room in the bathrooms.
So they drop me into the drain, and me being thin and all, I fit perfectly into the drain. Then they do the dragging towards the water tank where a few guys are bathing nude in coloured water. As I lay calm, knowing well enough that struggling would only mean more hurt to myself, they kept on pepping the slime on me with all sorts of toppings. So there were a few plastic covers, more slimy dirt (a bit of which went into my mouth and mixed with my 'Holi'sweets), and then more colours.
So by the time we reached the end of the drain, I was barely me. I mean, if I were to screen for a horror movie, I'm sure I'd scare the hell out of the director. I got back to my room, wearing only my U.W., and finished off one cake of soap before I could even get myself to look in the mirror. And finally, when I look in the mirror, Hey man! that's me there! I Love You!